Candidette

2008-01-22T22:35:00.000+11:00

this has to be the longest hiatus from blogging ever!
I suppose it's because I haven't really had that much to say over the last couple of months other than:

1. uni sucks
2. life sucks
3. i need a holiday
4. but a drink will do instead
5. i can't wait till uni is over

Basically, completely self absorbed shit. And Ling is like my personal diary who I can say anything to and she has quite a good memory so I can always count on her to remember what I've said so that I can go back and make changes or follow up on things that I said that I would do.

I guess I'm still the same old same old person really. Still smoking too much and drinking too much. Although, I have had some stuff that I've had to really grapple with while I was overseas. Like thinking about what my life is like now, and what I had imagined for myself naught more than a year ago. I started thinking alot about friendships...and with the right prodding *thanks again boggle 1* I actually took it seriously and thought about all the times that I've been too lazy to leave the house or too lazy to meet up with people and follow up on personal relationships.

On the other side of all the friendships I guess I've been thinking a lot of about relationships that I've had. Especially after seeing A in singapore and feeling a little shaken from the whole experience. Just because I don't really keep in contact with exes in the first place. But not that he's an ex or whatever but more that he's still incredibly inspiring and driven. Two qualities that I wish I could gain just by being around someone who has those qualities.

Last year I was in this relationship which had lasted quite a while. And for good reason. I don't regret any of it. I don't feel like it was a waste of four and a half years...I think it was right for the time that I was in and it was right up to a point where I started to think about the future. I mean, on a day to day basis it was alot more than what I could have asked for in terms of devotion and attention. That's not to say that I wish I could have it back seeing as I'm in a new relationship and it's a little shitty to demand these things. In fact, it was shitty of me to demand those things back then too. And then accuse the person of not growing when I hadn't really given the person enough room to grow. I suppose I have to *let go* of all the major trust issues that I have.

Which brings me to the question of Now. Now capitalised. Now.
God. How overwhelming. I've never been too good at planning for the Now. I've always been better at planning ahead for the future and looking back at the past to pick up on things that I might want to change for the future without really realising that you need to change things in the NOW for them to work in the FUTURE.

It's something that I'll get round to eventually...but for now...I'm going to rant. So, if you haven't already tuned out...now would be a good time. I guess I've given up on trying to write a diary because I'm so used to just typing all the time.

So...where do I begin. I probably should start by admitting something to myself: I go through phases where I think that the relationship (if you can call it that) I am in at the moment isn't really going in the direction that I want it to go in. I mean, it could be that it's like what 1.1 said about it being an "adult" relationship and I'm pretty sure she's right and this is what being an adult in a relationship is all about...but I'm going to be really honest here and say that I really wouldn't mind a little of that high school relationship thing.

That fuzzy feeling after seeing the person every day and still feeling like you'd like to see them more. At the moment it's a little more of the "I see them every time they have time and I guess I'm happy...I guess". It could just be that I may, just may, have self diagnosed depression or something. But its just...not that I'm looking to be saved, but more that I'm looking for a friend...someone that has time for you...like I've said before...a guy who is like Boggle 1. But a guy. Definitely a guy. Been down the other road and got really quite hurt...more so than I thought I would have...but now that I look at how I manage my relationship now and I see myself preempting alot of things that I read as leading towards that really crap place.

I guess I don't really know where this entry is going...I guess...I wish things were different. And on some days, when I feel really alone...and I feel like I would like to retreat to somewhere that I could be miserable BUT with company...I feel like retreating back into the safety of that long relationship. It's harsh...and the funny thing is I don't really see it as wishing I was still with that person...more that I miss that security that someone out there understood me...or at least tried to understand me...instead of me trying to understand the other person.

The world is so full of things that I don't understand...and so many parts of it that seem to work against the individual to the point where it's nice to come home or be in the company of someone that just gets you. Not just a friend either...but more someone that...is yours. If that makes sense...because when I do feel so down and out...when I feel like I could really do with a little bit of a time out or whatever...I think of my friends.

Maybe I should have stayed single for longer...As Shirley Fetish might say "how full is your love tank?"
Not very.

2007-11-09T04:46:00.000+11:00

sooo like its 445am and i can't sleep.
i changed my facebook picture...wrote on some walls...but all in all having the usual pms blues.
met up with boggle 1 for dinner and that made me feel so much better.
urgh.
its so wrong to feel so lonely when i'm not.

2007-10-22T20:59:00.000+10:00

Man so much so much has happened in the last 3 days.
I have been mamma sanning my little chickadees while they finished their final designs and i am so proud of them. Two of them have had barely any sleep and have just powered through all of the work and came out victorious despite all the tears and the sleepless nights.
You'd almost think that it was something more serious than design but, ha!, is there anything more serious? *I kid, I kid.

Speaking of emotions running over the edge. I cried yesterday in class for the first time...in all time...ever in my illustrious six years at university. I suppose it's more because I actually have a project that I haven't changed too much. I mean in 3rd year I started with a design that began looking a little like Darth Vader in plan...don't ask...and ended up with something from a TV addict's wet dream. Then in 4th year I had something that looked like it belonged in a sci fi film because it was all like green! patterned! utopian!

Ah right. Crying. Well, I suppose it's all the emotion that's invested into the design because unlike some of my gifted peers, I actually have to work to get anywhere with the designs I have because frankly, I think I should be in textile design or something...well, I take that back. I thoroughly enjoy both parts of my course so it's just more that I actually have to work for it. Anyway. Right. This was going somewhere...

I am still all over the place because I haven't been able to sleep more than 4 hours in a row. Which is making me even more tired. And more emotional. And more tired because I always feel like falling asleep after crying...or any other physical activity for that matter.

And, because when I started this blog I kinda said that I wouldn't be scared to say what was on my mind because dammit...I can't be bothered to write in a diary and to make matters worse my handwriting is ILLEGIBLE...I'm just going to say this now:

Stop trying to find out who I am.
I was by your side for almost four and a half years living and breathing you. I saw you almost every day except for the days when you were overseas. How can you turn around now and not know who I am? If that doesn't answer the question of why we aren't together anymore then I don't know what else can.
I suppose I should be more emotional. I should care more that we are no longer together. I could pick up the phone and call to see how you're doing but I don't think I can because I feel like we are two strangers. More like one stalker and one stranger. I feel like I know everything about you. I know your quirks. I know what you do and don't like. I know what you like to do, what you like to eat, how you like it made, who your friends are etc etc. I've met close to 80% of your family and played nice even when they've belittled what I do, or insinuated that I should change my entire career path to be with you, or insinuated that perhaps I should strive to be a girlfriend who is a pageant winning book reading hair done-ing regular local celebrity.

How about all the holidays spent as non-holidays as your commitments piled up to your family and I couldn't understand, and I still can't. Holidays spent shuffling between your family and me and being caught up in family events when all I wanted was to be able to spend some time with you alone. It could have been in a backyard at a suburban home in Rowville stuck in a treehouse and I would have had more fun than going to golf clubs and being paraded around with you and being introduced as "my girlfriend" rather than my name. So you see I am not the person for you. I am not a person to you. I'm just another image/facet of your life. You don't know me other than what I look like to others around you.

I convinced myself that I loved being a part of your family and being a part of you life. I almost convinced myself that I could follow you to KL and be your wife over there and somehow still fulfill what I wanted to do in my life. But I suppose another answer for your questions right now could be...who did you think you were in my life? Do you think you were involved in it? Did you feel immersed in it to the point where you knew everything was to know about me? I wanted to know everything about you. I would read up on what you liked...I would read up on boring as hell stuff like business news/commercy news/soccer news. Just so when you walked through the door after work I might have something to talk to you about that you could engage with. Although...after I had finished talking to you about what you liked...there was nothing but silence from you. The amounts of dinners that we've spent with the tv on. Or dinners out where there have been other people always invited...always obligated to bring along. This is not a jab at a change which occurred earlier this year...this is something from over 4 years. We have nothing to say to each other unless it is something that you are interested in. Heaven forbid I should ask you about anything I am interested in...or begin to talk to you...because you either a. fall asleep...or b. have nothing to say. It doesn't take much to read up. It doesn't take much to just try. And yeah, I would roll over at night and prod you over questions and want to talk to you in the middle of the night when you were sleeping...but that's the only time I had with you. If you weren't at work ritually staying back late for no apparent reason, then you were tending to your flock....or ironing your shirts...and admittedly, i had little time in between because i was studying/working.

One of the moments that I realised that I could not be a part of your life is when you had offered to pick me up from university after my late classes. And instead of dropping your family home they waited in the car with you. And when I had arrived I was met with tired eyes and an icy reception. I had never asked them to wait with you. I didn't ask them to pick me up. I didn't even ask you to pick me up that night. You offered. It's the burden and the baggage of all your relationships that swing both ways. You have been given ample time to decide what you want to do...how you want to balance them. 4.5 years is a very long time. Alot of people can finish an entire degree in that time. But it's clear that you can't balance them and the time that I need and I require from someone who is a partner. You are 25 years old. You work full time. You are the classic picture of what I refer to as semi-adulthood. You still have your youth. You still have your own life that you are ecking out. So, seeing as we had been together for ALL of that working life...and non-univeristy life.

I don't really wish you any harm...but I still have days where I wake up and resent you. Not because I think you are a bad person...but more that I feel that I had really tried with this one...and it was going so smoothly but only when I wasnt thinking about myself and who I was and what I wanted to do. As I said to you, you will find another person for sure...there's no doubt that you will find another person or that person will find you but it's highly unlikely that the person that will do all the things that you need in a relationship is me. I can't be the girlfriend who just takes it when you don't know how to either stand up for your partner or don't care to.

This entry could be very long winded. And rude because I shouldn't air dirty laundry, but I feel like these are just glaring facts of our relationship that anyone with half a brain could have picked out. You are excused from that judgement because, worse still, I told you to your face exactly how I felt about what was wrong. So the moments that I bring up, don't look at them like "that was just one moment. Just one part of me.". For me they represent alot of why I can't be with you. Why I can't call you and feel like I want to arrange to talk to you over a coffee. Afterall, what would we talk about? A really contrived conversation about architecture? Tried that. I don't really like talking about just architecture anyway. A really contrived conversation about politics? Tried that. Kind of hard to talk to someone about politics when they don't feel compelled to vote in their own country let alone in the one that they've lived in for 6 years. The way I see it, if you don't vote. You don't get a say. It's harsh. But it's true.

I don't appreciate being asked if I buy you your business shirts. And I definitely do not appreciate being asked if I iron your shirts. I don't iron shirts. I did iron your shirts because I wanted to. So if I stop ironing your shirts...take it as a hint. I dont iron shirts for shits and giggles. And chances are...even if I did iron shirts for shits and giggles, if I've stopped its because I was a little busy with studying/life. So you see this is the tip of the iceberg. And It all falls back to the fact that you don't know me. You haven't known me for a very long time so don't act so surprised everytime you remember that we aren't together anymore. Besides, I'm an image of someone in your mind. I'm not saying the emotions that are running through you now, or the emotions in the relationship aren't real...its just that now, I'm not the person who you should look to to reignite those emotions.

This could be really cold. But that's pretty much how I feel. Except for those mornings when I wake up and get irritated at you. But then I go out, I have breakfast, and I carry on with what I have to do and I feel better. One thing is that I don't regret spending 4 and a half years with you. I wouldn't try and take them back. It's just I don't want to spend another day in that moment. I've cried all the tears over the last year of our relationship and I haven't got anymore to give you. I stopped crying about 4 months ago. When all I could do when you did something to either piss me off or hurt me was to laugh.

It doesn't really matter now so I feel comfortable in saying this but, that night at the korean restaraunt when you openly berated me in front of your family? You know, over something really little in the menu? And call me a hypocrite right now for saying this but after 4 and half years I thought you should know: I don't like it when you air out your issues with me in front of people. I'm not your blindly subservient wife. I'm not your trophy. I'm not even the women who would fill those roles. I don't long for the easy life with you like the latter. And I certainly have enough confidence in myself to not want to be the former. So you ask why I laugh? I laughed so hard because that moment, I realised how ridiculous my relationship with you was. How ridiculous everything was. How ridiculous it is that you make it out like we had the perfect relationship when all you really need for a perfect relationship is another image to add to your life.

Oh. And your msn name? "It's Over!"? I wasn't born yesterday. If you want to vent and get attention just come out and do it. It's perfectly legitimate to want to talk to people about whats going on.

2007-10-09T12:53:00.000+10:00

Woo hoo! It's that time of the year when I start blogging again!
I've decided instead of overhauling the blog thing *again* and renaming it *again* and having to move all the dead links *again* that I'd just switch to just talking about what I'd like to talk about...women!
No...not Angelina Jolie or anything, more like Jezebel. Everytime I go on there I breathe a sigh of relief that there are women out there who can just *be* without going into some kind of feminist manifesto when you bring the topic up.
And because it's really blunt. Some might even say a little bit crass...but ooo I think that sums me up pretty well, no?

While I was bathing mini today I had a thought about something that I had written in my Cyberspace subject. I liked Jezebel because the articles in there didn't treat women like consuming objects. There's nothing wrong with wanting this bag, or that car, or whatever...I suppose I have a problem with the whole "Independent Woman" thing.

What really defines a woman as independent? I certainly hope it's not only about financial independence, although that's great too. I'm not going to pretend that this is some deeply intellectual rant here so I'm not going to put in like, references and start talking philosophy.

I should start first with an excerpt of a song that got me thinking:

Question: Tell me what you think about me 
I buy my own diamonds and I buy my own rings 
Only ring your cell-y when I'm feelin lonely 
When it's all over please get up and leave 
Question: Tell me how you feel about this 
Try to control me boy you get dismissed 
Pay my own fun, oh and I pay my own bills 
Always 50/50 in relationships 

1 - 
The shoes on my feet 
I've got it 
The clothes I'm wearin 
I've got it 
The rock I'm rockin 
I've got it 
'Cause I depend on me 
If I wanted 
The watch you're wearin 
I'll buy it 
The house I live in 
I've got it 
The car I'm drivin 
I've bought it 
I depend on me

That song doesn't even need an introduction. It was like the song in my late highschool years. I mean yeah, I get it, it's good that you can pay your own way and you "don't need no man" or whatever it is. You know those kinds of comments always have some kind of blaxtoposition in them or something to give it that really "I'm an oppressed minority" feel to it.

Well, shoot me now because I think I want a man. Not like, right now on a plate with a bow around his neck...or maybe i do...
I digress.
Like I don't want to sit there and measure him up according to how much of his shit I could buy to suss out if I could take him on in terms of being an EQUAL HUMAN BEING. Ok I've lost my train of thought here...but I guess the idea that being independent requires money is something that doesn't sit right with me. I mean it would disqualify women unable to work for reasons such as being a housewife (and there is nothing wrong with that) or being in a place that doesn't allow for it.
I dunno just something about it all...I suppose I've not had too much time to sit down and really think about it but I guess I'm a bit over the whole woman power thing at the moment. It's like its bleeding into the sort of sexism that we accuse men of...and I'm not sure if the excuse of "but we have years to make up" is a good excuse. Besides...there are bigger problems going on in this world other than gender inequalities in developed countries. Like how about as a species we start treating each other a little better and then we can start to attack issues such as gender, sexuality, race...or maybe that'd all fall into place if we started treating each other better humano e humano?

2007-09-15T16:22:00.001+10:00

Well. Well. It's been a while since I blogged at all.
So...here's a quick roundup of what has been going on in my little neck of the woods.

1. Uni started again. And as usual, I am immersed in work and, to make matters worse, I can't even procrastinate because I get this sick feeling in my stomach when I think about graduating and having to enter the adult world.

2. Alot of things are changing in my private life which I won't divulge here.

3. I have managed to back off from being a total otaku because of #1. However...there is an animecon this weekend at Melbourne University. I missed out of the yaoi talk last night because I was too busy tearing over a very spicy lamb curry with noodles.

Urgh.

2007-08-04T16:52:00.000+10:00

You can label me a total feminist wannabe if you want, but I have an odd obsession with Catherine Deveny. I really respect her. And, although I don't like to admit it, I agree with her on alot of things. There are some things that make my inner feminist hurl but I can't help adding "...but its true!!" The same goes for her cultural stereotypes. Does that make me a leftist bigot? I dunno.

She doesn't write the most...how do we say...scholarly pieces for The Age and alot of her statements are littered with generalisations but I mean, it's fun to read and frankly, if you can't see past the generalisations then you probably should be reading said scholarly journals. It's not like a great scientific dissection of Australian Culture and she seems to be really quite critical of it to the point where I wonder if she's renounced her British passport. If she had one...anyway.

Having said all of that...I'm bordering on creepy fan. Like I'm wondering if she has a book out so I can laugh my way through on the tram and eye people on there and immediately label them according to her definitions. I mean she seems to loathe every level of society save for perhaps this little pocket of people that I can't seem to identify yet.

Catherine Deveny and Danny Katz make me proud to be a Melbournian. I really like that self-depreciating humour that they have. Not for themselves perhaps, but on Melbourne society. How I've interpreted it is that we love to diss out all the people in our own little microcosm of a society but then should anyone say anything about Sydney being some kind of social utopia in comparison...well, Hell hath no fury like a Melbournian scorned?

I don't really remember where this post was going because I wrote the first part last night and since then I've sobered up a little and feel a little less like a glutton for food.

2007-07-26T15:57:00.000+10:00

I will say this once, and only once.
Jin from Samurai Champloo is hot. He is so hot.

What is wrong with me? I've become a serial otaku/fangirl omg.
What is wrong with me. It must be my flu.

At least by watching anime I've managed to hone down the kinds of guys I am physically attracted to *don't scoff*.
1. Taller than me (not that hard is it?)
2. Paler than me
3. Quiet
4. Broody
5. Black hair
6. Honourable

One and only once.
I have to get off this anime trip

2007-07-24T09:03:00.000+10:00

I can't remember if I blogged this or not, but I recall saying that I felt like I was getting sick and that knowing my luck, I'd get sick only when uni started and not during the holidays.

Well. Looks like I should be applying for jobs with clairvoyants. I managed to fall ill on Saturday. It started with a funny tummy feeling with gas. I couldn't stop burping. I don't normally burp. Hahahha I'm a lady! Then it turned into a funky sore throat. Then it turned into a funky sore throat I can't move my limbs all my joints hurt.

And there I was yesterday. An invalid. Unable to move, my whole body feeling like my skin was standing on end. I slept through it all. However....I have a full day today. I have from 11am-8pm of classes. Will I make it?
Urgh...I dunno.

Thank goodness for meds. Both herbal and big Pharma.

2007-07-20T11:57:00.000+10:00

I'm listening to my LOTR score and feeling kinda emo.
I read 1.1's post and felt that as a sort of...inspiration I'd write about this:

Parents. No matter what your parents' background is, I think it's safe to say that at some point in your life, they looked at you and decided that their life is not what they would want for you. This doesn't suggest that they hate their own lives, but rather that you are their 'babies' no matter how old you are and that nothing, nothing, in their eyes will ever be good enough for you.

So they push. They push and you shove back. You shove their ideals back into their faces. And, although I'm not a parent yet, I see why so many wish for their children to be better. Just better human beings because of all the things we can leave behind in this world, one of them is legacy. Some families may see legacy in name, blood, lineage, fortune...the common denominator throughout all of the interpretations of "legacy" is that your children will surpass you because of everything you've done in your life, nothing compares to what you wish for your children.

I've been lucky, so have alot of my friends, in having loving parents. Although they might not show it in the best way...we all love our families and there is nothing we wouldn't do for them. And wouldn't it be sad if there was something we wouldn't do for them?

Oh god. I'm back to daddy issue mode. Not like negative issues...but so much time has passed. They grey hairs on your head have multiplied and when I see you I try and block them out because to me, you never will age and I will only realise you have aged when I look upon you in your coffin.

So in the same pulse as what 1.1 said,
Don't ever leave me Daddy.

2007-07-19T20:03:00.000+10:00

OK so basically today I got busted for my yaoi desktop image.
You can google yaoi on your own. But...But... before you jump to conclusions I see it as my way of giving the patriarchy my middle finger. Guys can stare at girls on girls but Women can't stare at...the opposite.
JM was the last person to find this out surprise surprise and ususally he is the last person to know about my private festishes. But that's ok. Probably best he doesnt start questioning why I say "No, don't do that ROY it tickles" in my sleep.
He looked...stunned.

The extra creepy thing?
He stared at it for a long time. I think I'm going to get left for a man.
*sigh*

2007-07-19T09:04:00.001+10:00

Ahhh my daily blogging habit which will soon be over (or getting worse) come next week when I start uni again.

I have been up to all sorts of mischief since I've been sitting on my arse in front of the computer.

I used to look at vintage patterns online and get so enamoured by some of the patterns I saw. Just really simple sewing patterns...nothing too complex. It is sad that now, because clothing is so cheap to make (bad! child labour, bad!) and buy that people don't sew anymore. Well, OK...alot of people still sew but the patterns out there are gross. It's like the pattern makers refuse to keep up with the times like they used to. Plus...sewing seems to have become the area of super "modest" clothing that crazy mid-western wives do to alter all their girls' clothing to make it ankle and wrist length. So the patterns reflect that.

Vintage pattern sellers such as Out of the Ashes, sell vintage patterns that may have been cut before but are still in fantastic shape considering some of them come from the 1930s! I bought three on my last visit to the site:Look past the acid green and phglem chartreuse to see what the pattern CAN be. I'm not a huge fan of the long sleeved version but the purple dress pattern is quite appealing. I see it in either navy blue or white. Without the tie. Just something billowy that I can chuck on with tights and a pair of flats/heels or sandals. I suppose making it out of a softer fabric (double layered of course) and then attaching grosgrain ribbon could also turn out VERY nicely. The fabric would have to be dark colour though because I think the ties make it look to costume party for my liking. The feather one is...no so much. It's a little too porn for me.
Come On.... you know you want to love the pose that the model is doing in the middle. it's so Down with Love! I like it how it's a little bit air stewardess crossed with 1960s sci-fi fembot thing. On a finer note though I bought this pattern because I like the dart that comes from the waist which I think is more flattering than from just next to your boob. All that dart does is make your boobs stick out but then the fabric (if its heavy) just kinda...goes straight down making you look like you don't have boobs, you just have a tummy that starts up really high.

When I looked at this pattern I also saw the short sleeved one with the same neck detail as one FULL Of potential kind of cut a slice out of the topmost part of the pattern in a sort of yoke-like shape and then pintuck a sheer fabric in the shape but have it sorta see thru compared to the rest of the dress.Ahhh this one is my favourite. It's labelled as a "Muu Muu" on the pattern. I really love it. It's an eating dress! An eating summer dress! It has pockets as well! Which wins it big points for practicality. Some people don't like pockets on dresses but I think when it's as big and billowy in it you need an excuse other than "I'm pregnant" for its size. Pockets!! I should wear this dress in like maternity pale yellow and freak my dad out. AAAAAAAHAHAHAH

Actually...that wouldn't freak my dad out...it'd freak me out because he'd flip. Who it would freak out (and quite hilariously too) would be JM. *cackle*

2007-07-17T18:28:00.001+10:00

Irresponsible!
Absolutely Irresponsible! An egregious mistake which I simply cannot forgive! How could you lead me on? How could you?!

That is what I'll be saying to the first anime-animator (that looks funny) I ever meet. Ever. I apologise for letting this get out of hand but I think I'm becoming a part of the lost generation. I want to stay under the covers and watch anime all day until its summer.

Back onto the topic of this entry: IRRESPONSIBLE!

Women are fragile, petulent creatures. We see something, we want something. Animators should have to sign some kind of agreement saying that they will not -ever- create a character that is better than what is in the living world.

Lines and Colours!! my brother says everytime I swoon at an online character. But it's not! It's like somewhere from the deep recesses of these creative geniuses there is some dark force at work to make sure every woman is absolutely depressed that these cocky, suave, dapper, chivalrous, gentle, courageous, honourable, etc etc men EXIST!
It's like all the men from all the heartthrob movies that my mother watches have come to life in animated form. At least when it's live action you can see the actor and sigh, "Yeah but Keanu fights the hotness". You can't say that with an animated man!
They rest between pages and pages of drawings...ready to be unleashed upon unsuspecting women who, like me, expect that anime men are kinda girly. Kinda creepy. Kinda....animated. But no, these men are like idealised versions of every girls knight in shining armour.

Oh and before you chortle away JM, from last night's antics at the dinner table, you are no longer counted as one of them.

It's like this crazy pastiche of romance. If there was some time honoured animated sequence it'd be akin to one of those Disney old school cartoons:

Man saves woman from dragon. Man is concealed in armour and woman knows nothing but the emblem on his armour and his eyes. Woman passes out and awakens in her chambers (looking remarkably good for someone who hasn't brushed her hair in 3 days).

Woman cannot forget Man that saved her. Woman becomes disinterested in food, wine, men, etc etc. Woman goes unwillingly to social event in cheesy pseudo French formal location. Woman stands alone. Man walks in and causes commotion because he is so good looking the other women are practically a kitten's fart away from tackling him to the ground.

Man walks up to woman and asks her for a dance. Woman barely looks at him and declines until...wait...Woman sees ring on outstretched hand with same emblem as knight in shining armour. Woman looks up and sees the same eyes that looked at her from behind the armour. Woman blushes as man asks again if Woman would like to dance. Man is incredible dancer (Waltz, of course). Woman becomes enamoured with man *cue misty camera and sparklevision*.

GOD.

How dare they come up with this crap!

I'm going to go binge on chocolate and watch more anime and drive myself into a deeper pit of frustration.

2007-07-17T11:33:00.000+10:00

I was browsing through the Sartorialist earlier today and I realised that I probably wouldn't like to be with a guy that cared more about fashion than I do. Unfortunately, I think I'd also secretly like a guy that could be dapper, suave, stylish - call it what you want. I suppose the only problem with that is that I'd feel pressured to dress up as well. I couldn't go standing next to him wearing my fisherman pants (not washed still with cooking stains) and a frumpy t-shirt.

I would cause mass problems with my bank account which would be under constant assault from online and real world shopping trips.

I don't really know where this post is going but there is something I've been meaning to ask. What on earth should a girl do with 2m of yellow (yay!) and white polka dot material.
OK. So I bought it in a bit of bad taste thinking that I'd be OK with it and that it would make a killer dress. It's very yellow. Like canary yellow which is nice...but I think a different pattern (aka not polka dots) would make it more wearable. There are only so many bolster covers you can make out of 2M before you feel like it's a waste.

Maybe some tshirts? Maybe a short-ish (bleh) summer dress that is billowy enough to hide the polka dot mess? Maybe use it as a lining? Sigh
Too much fabric.

Oh and in another bit of bad taste I bought this blue fabric which is sort of like....nike shorts material...I can't explain it. It has this really cool white motif on it but again, what to make of it? It's not like dark blue...it's blue. Light blue in fact. And I realised that I don't really *do* light blue even though I like looking at it.
Urgh I'll have to take photos and show off my bad taste! But later. It's too cold to move. If I move the warm air directly around me will shift and I'll lose all the warmth.

2007-07-16T05:56:00.000+10:00

It's the last time in my academic life that I will get to sit back and ponder about which elective to take. Visual Arts? Sociology? Political Science? Engineeering? Wait. Ditch that last one.

I suppose like any good movie cliche, "when you reach the end, you can only think about the beginning". So here's my first experience at university. I was running late *see, I'm consistent* to my class in Semester One, 2002. I had no idea where all the lecture theatres were and as far as I could tell the brilliant map on the back of my diary had the same information value as a McDonalds wrapper.

I walked into my theatre keeping my head down and of course, forgot to see the steps leading up the hall...I slipped and let out a bit of a howl...my face felt like it would spontaneously combust and I would be a pile of ashes as a fire caught on. Melodrama aside, I sat down on the seat and pretended to look as if I had been there the entire time.

It was only 3 minutes later that the alarm bells began to ring. I was listening to a lecture about quantum physics. Or pythagorean theory. Both are equally complicated to me. The numbers and letters on the lecture board weren't about landscape architecture. Unless it was an indepth analysis of gradients...and the equations on the side were ornamental paving patterns.

I had entered the wrong lecture.

So, here I am. 6 years later. I now know that the map on the back is fucking useless and that it's best to spend an hour before the actual class making sure you can find the lecture theatre and then make a mental map of the place: Right at the rhodedendron bushes, left at the art deco-y wall, straight until the speed bump, then right through the door next to the large tree.

I still don't know exactly which on is the Laby Theatre. I still get lost in the grounds.

I think alot of my stay up late apprehension has been about leaving uni. I mean, I want to leave uni but I'm just not sure if I'm quite ready to go out to the real world and step forward in an orderly fashion. I want more of these intermediate phases. Perhaps a workplace tester. Like a degustation menu I could slowly work my way up to working full time and leaving behind all my student ways.

When I was in kindergarten they used to have little dress-up chests where you could dive in and dress yourself up as an adult. I think this was mainly targeted at girls, but I suppose in current times both genders could have a little bit of a play. I remember that most of us girls would reach for the dresses, the heels, the long beads, the grown-up clothing that put together, looked like something out for a mad hatter party at best. The key was that growing up was about wearing these clothes. It's like how my dad used to tell me NO BIKINIS till I was 18. Or my mother telling me NO MINISKIRTS until 18. Of course, the inner whore started wearing those things earlier but I think I'd like to just curl up and go back to that state of being told what to wear/do/eat and not have to think about anything other than meals and nap time.

*sigh*

Ally asked me my age and I barely hesitated in saying "twenty four" but then I'm really twenty three...but whatever I had a bit to drink already. She remarked "you're pushing on, eh" or something to that effect to which I answered "I can't wait to be 40" And it's still true. I can't wait to be 40. Just have all the experiences behind me and look at my kids and dog (mini, you won't be around *sob*)...look at my husband who'll probably still be my mbb.

Instead of looking at the now I suppose I should make a list of things that I want to have/be by the time I'm 40:
1. Kids: preferrably one girl and one boy. Or two boys. I don't think I could handle 2 girls.

2. Dog: A corgy or something smallish.

3. Husband: well, not just any husband. I think my MBB will do quite nicely. He'll still be working late and still be antagonising me. He'll still cook delicious meals for me and hopefully I'll still have some remnant of a figure and wear hot bedthings for him. And if he cheats on me I will kick his ass to next year and drag him through the most painstaking divorce...no no...no divorce...most painstaking departure with his genitalia.

I DON'T WANT TO GROW UP DAMMIT! *throws tantrum*

2007-07-13T07:34:00.001+10:00

Another TMI post but this time from the DEVIANTart front.

Go. Go into the site and search 'Roy Mustang' like someone I know through a friend of a friend of an acquaintence (a.k.a: me).

Have a look through all the pages like said friend of a friend of an acquaintence did and there are some seriously weird fans out there.

I admit. I am a Total. Fan. Girl. I am the chick that the director of FMA was talking about when he said "the finger shot should please all the fangirls out there *snort*". But there are some serious crazies out there. Unlike myself, who is totally sane.
I'm not going to post the pictures up here because frankly, if you thought my first post was extremely crass, then the images that I'll now describe are WORSE.

In no particular order:

1. The strangely arousing picture of Roy and Maes in an intimate moment:
I've never watched man on man porn. My brother somehow knows the japanese term for gay anime...I don't ask questions, I just agree that damn, that is some arousing stuff. It's not like Maes Hughes is bent over a desk in a dress or anything...but more like what I would say is a very beautiful moment should Maes and Roy every get busy. Like the folds in their clothing (still on...partially) and the whole half shirt thing. Ooo it just got hot in here.

2. Roy failing to perform in bed with Riza:
Due to a comment Riza makes in one of the early episodes that Roy is "useless when it rains" so there's a drawing of the two of them in bed, and it's raining outside and Riza is all sheets-up-don't-want-to-talk-about-it-but-was-it-me??? and Roy is all work-dammit-work!
It's sweet nevertheless. Even such virile exemplars of masculinity fail once in a while.

3. Roy chained to a wall without his shirt on:
A bit too bondage for my likings. There are some seriously repressed wo/men out there. It actually looks painful. And I suppose there'd be some safety word like, ooo I dunno, OTAKU

4. Roy with hands bound and suspended from the ceiling:
Look devilishly enticing but again, no dice from me because I just can't do the whole string thing *cough* I don't want to open a pandora's box with jm.

5. Roy taking his glove off:
All while provocatively looking at the subject. Shirt slightly unbuttoned.

That's just the short list. Man there are some seriously crazy girl (and obviously now boy) fans out there. Oh yeah, there was quite an explicit one with Maes and Roy making loooove but...I could be the only 24 year old asking this but...don't men have sex not facing each other? Doesn't the *ahem* get in the way if they are like...missionary? Just a question. And no, don't answer...I'm not sure if I'm ready to understand the physics of it all.
That picture was not so arousing. Call it my feminine side but both of them are damn sexy and the thought of it makes me die a little inside.

2007-07-13T06:39:00.000+10:00

Here's a bit of TMI for todays post...so caution if you aren't comfortable with Too. Much. Information.

Not about me. I'm no prude, but I draw the line at making my faithful readers throw up a little in their mouths.

There's an excellent archive post on Jezebel about umm...kissing on the mouth after "kissing" down there when it comes to guys. That isn't clear is it?
Basically, it's a hilariously dirty post about the ethics of a guy kissing a girl who has just gone down on him and succeeded.

I'll be nice and put a few little quotes here but the whole article is actually really funny. It's not really that smutty because Jezebel really isn't a site like D Listed or the Superficial where you can diss out someone for being a slut while encouraging sluts. I like to read it because it gives me just enough gossip to keep me entertained and just enough other stuff that has to do with a suppose being a 'modern woman' without making me feel like i just stepped out of a Spice Girls world circa 1997.

But we knoowww men are a little sensitive about the taste of their own jizz. We're reminded every time we try to touch tongues with them after servicing them orally. Men! Take it from Vice magazine, representing all men so secure in their masculinity they borrow their girlfriends' skinny jeans: "Swallowing jizz = big whup."

They also did a bit of a sample of some guys they knew to find out how they felt about it:

One of them, a man you might remember from our last focus group who has impregnated five girls, said he was "absolutely" too manly to be made to taste his supersperm, while another, the taste of whose cum we're pretty sure would be overpowered by the taste of his ball cheese, ventured a slightly less assured "I'm pretty sure that would be gay."

I'm immature and probably a little bit smutty...ok...a lot smutty...but 'ball cheese' is a fucking classic

Women were not so much in agreement. When a dudefriend of ours casually mentioned his ladyfriend is "usually rinsed out by that point," we had to ask said ladyfriend whether her sink was, like, next to the bed or something. "I always have a champagne or wine 'chaser' next to the bed," she explained. "Like I won't even do it without my chaser. And usually I'll do some little flair when I take a sip, like, 'Magnifique!' or something.

Man...the whole article is actually much funnier than what I've decided to cut and paste in.
The comments are a classic too.

Ahhh so good to be in the 21st century where at least there is some little nook in the interwebs where women can just talk frankly about these things without recoiling back in horror a la "that isn't proper, ladies!" or start burning their bra, your bra, your friends bra, while screaming "MEN ARE PIGS! PIGS!"

Just to finish off (no pun intended), some of my favourite comments:

BY ONCEUPONATIME AT 01:00 PM
I use the post-blow kiss as a test because, if it gets that far and there's no intercourse (and no give-backs, re: TOTM), it's a good way to tell if the cock belongs to a man or an animal.

Refuse or avoid the kiss = leave now, never call again
Kiss back with a wince = cuddle (positive reenforcement) then leave, wait for him to call
Kiss back with enthusiasm = cuddle, totally call again

BY STACYINBEAN AT 01:01 PM
I never understood that whole blowjob with a condom thing, thanks for the explanation. Can you also tell me what a dental dam is? I've always thought of it as some sort of semen catcher? Is it ok that I'm 25 and asking that?

BY TAYLOR T-SIDES AT 03:08 PM
ok, seriously, if a man is afraid of becoming "gay" because of tasting his own sperm, then he's probably in the closet in the first place.

Link to full article

READ IT

2007-07-10T06:34:00.000+10:00

After browsing through a few things...(I've fallen in love with Etsy.com)...and other blogs I've realised that I've forgotten how to draw. Or sketch. I mean, I don't profess to have once been a fantastic drawer. Give me a pencil and I'd be more inclined to sharpen it for you and give it back rather than use it for its purpose.

I blame all of this on uni. I remember how in 1st year no one really knew how to use cad so hand drawing was the way to go. T Squares everywhere in the studios. Now, fast forward 6 years *cringe* there are no more T squares lying around, its just laptop central.

I specifically blame my loss of hand drawing skills (if there were any) to these things:

1. Yellowtrace/Butter paper/Vellum whatever you may call it.
Its tracing paper on a roll. It lacks that seriousness of proper drawing paper. It doesn't have that grain or that wonderfully unbleached look of watercolour paper. you know that whatever gets doodled on the page is eventually going to be transferred/scanned onto another media for further modifications. You just draw all over it. To hell with scale. To hell with pen pressures and pencils just end up with a smudge fest all over the paper and your hand. The yellow one is a serious perpetrator because come on, yellow, its such a frivolous colour (thats why i lurrve it) that, as a paper, it doesn't really command that much respect.

2. CAD/AutoCad/Vector Works/ArchiCad
That is the nail in the coffin. You know the program is more important than hand drawing when they put a filter in there called "paper napkin". When I first saw that I was supicious. What did it do? Was it a filter to make everything 3d? Was it going to turn my drawing into a fashionable napkin lotus? What it does do is make your drawings appear more "hand drawn" aka makes the lines more wobbly and scribbly. You know...what I find most patronising about this is that architects presumably spend all their time at cafes talking about leftist socialist crap that the only drawings they do draw are on napkins. Please. When I'm out having a coffee i'd rather talk about anything but work or drawing up plans/concepts. CAD ruins all concepts. Because you are forced to make them into a reality, and frankly, it's only until recently that i've had a fair grasp of possible construction techniques. Before knowing this, it seemed like curved walls didnt make sense anymore, my wonderful sketches didn't "work" even though now in retrospect they did, but were eaten up by the polyline function.

Modernism:
the attack on all things ornate or even slightly different from the shoebox. I say to hell with it. It's the blight of social housing (social housing shouldnt be about housing the most people in the most disfunctional and unhealthy building) and it's the architectural language of oppression. There are instances of it being quite beautiful (see Barcelona Pavilion or Farnsworth House) but as a popular style and not just the style of well to do old monied types, it becomes the cop out for all designers when the budget is too small. Im not a fan of exposed services. To an extent they are cool, but thats all they are, cool. And I'm sure very functional...but dammit I don't need more "function" in my life. Exposed surfaces are bad for the economy too. How on earth are plumbers and electricians supposed to justify their exorbitant time charges if they don't have an excuse for not being able to find problem area. See? More is more.

So there you have it. My fallacy riddled and erroneous justification.

2007-07-10T05:33:00.000+10:00

About two days ago I got really riled up over the alleged racism in L'Oreals subsidary company, Garnier. Well, I'm kind of over it now because: A I don't buy L'Oreal, or their subsidary labels such as Helena Rubenstein (I might if I was like, 50), The Body Shop (I know, I can't believe the 90s more power to ya brand sold out), Lancome, or Garnier. B I'm still oohing and ahhing over my eyeshadow and eyelashes (false, because I want, nay, need false eyelashes) from Thi Cosmetics.

On a side note, it was ling who recommended that I check out the website after she found this american chinese thread about how more western makeup labels don't really make stuff that's flattering for asian faces. Of course you can buy their stuff individually, but those "look books" aren't very convincing. I don't like phrases in those campaigns like:

"use x product to make your eyes appear larger" - what, my eyes no big enough for you? I like to think that we chinese have selective eyesight, we only see what's worth it. AHAHAHA therefore, because of centuries of evolution, our sight is limited. So when I look at you (or any other chinese does) you'll know that you are really all we see.

"use x product to give you the appearance of a more defined nose" same thing applies here. I have a limited amount of olfactory nodes. Therefore, should I smell you, you should know 100% of my olfactory functions are dedicated to you or your product. Conversely, British people are stereotypically pinned for having big noses. Why do they need all that smelling? Their food is horrible and it's not like you need to smell the 'bouquet' of beer.

"use x product to make your skin lighter" this one has been a mystery. I'd like to own up to having one product from sishedo that proclaims to get rid of freckles and other sun spots. It doesn't work. I didn't buy it because it was supposed to make my skin 10 shades lighter. Should that happen, I would be hard to look at it summer because of all the glare. I think this product is a bit of a sham. I'm not going to go into the sociological and cultural impacts of asserting lighter as better.

Anyway. Boycott it if you want but its no big deal to me. Everytime I ogle anything from Lancome I have to remind myself that its like the Lexus of makeup. It's the L'Oreal brand relabeled and repackaged.

On a side note I heard a little bit of hilarious news on ABC radio. The terror suspect from Brisbane (of the many, just that this guy has brown skin...maybe he should have used some of that aforementioned lightening product) was planning a bomb which included chapati flour. CHAPATI FLOUR. Watch the ban on chapati flour nationwide as it is a notable ingredient in bomb making. Not pasta flour, not normal flour, not rice flour, but chapati flour. Morons. Whats so special about chapati flour? Isn't it just like double 0 flour? Maybe its fortified with gelagnite. That would explain many an 'explosive' night after eating indian food.

2007-07-06T10:52:00.000+10:00

Oh yeah...I seem to have disovered something odd in the below thread. The UK has something called a TV license. Something you have to pay to recieve free to air TV. Wow...that's a blow to the nuts.

Huzzah! For I have the solution!
DOWNLOAD!
*patiently awaits phonecall from Nobel Society*

2007-07-06T10:13:00.000+10:00

I was just reading the BBC Have your Say section online and there was a little article in there about how the British felt about the Bank of England hiking interest rates to....5.something%.

As most of you all know, oh ye faithful readers, I'm not very good with economics. The Economics.
I get the whole supply and demand thing, but I learnt from Ali G that it's a very basic concept to grasp. Ah..that dashed my hopes of being the next Warren Buffet.

So I like reading these threads from a sociological point of view. If I go on the premise that money isn't everything...then I suppose by cutting down the money it becomes clearer then what is in fact everything. Well, everything to some people.

I don't really have any financial tips. I mean, I read the Consumerist but that's all American stuff and there's some really good stuff in there for students and how to start budgeting early...but other than that it's not like it tips you to the newest hot thing in finance.

One thing that did come up alot was the British Buy-to-Let scheme which I think is kind of like how a second home that is being rented out = tax benefit. This is where I began to get irritated. It's bad seeing it here but it's just as bad to see that it's a global phenomena in first world countries. I really, really, I can't stress 'really', object to alot of the schpeil with negative gearing your tax with a second home. You know...it's all fair and good when say there is only a second home. But it's when it turns into thirds, fourths, fifths...etc etc...where I begin to see a turn backwards into some kind of feudal system. I suppose everybody wants a little pied a terre, and I don't blame them. But when it turns into buying all these properties to bolster yourself and then abuse that right by hiking up rental prices using the crap excuse of "shortage" is when I get pissed off. People reverting to the ideas of "dog eat dog world" and "life is a struggle" need to wake the fuck up.

If life is, indeed, the huge struggle, then how far as a society/civilisation have we come from the good old days of plebians and landowners/aristocracy. It only takes a high school level of history to understand that you can only push people so far until they have enough and there is a revolt. You can't keep working people to the bone hoping that they'll adhere to some nazi anthem of "work will set you free". I admit, I love what I do so I suppose it's not the total cage that others have to inhibit for most of their waking lives. But at the same time it's just not fair?

Is it naive of me to think this way? Probably. I suppose there needs to be a little less cynicism when it comes to life. I mean sure, no one is saying life should be handed to anyone on a platter, but what are we striving for exactly? Is everyone so consumed with their own get rich quick plans that they can't see that the very things that we now consider to be "essential" are gifts of decades....maybe centuries....of social movements, political movements...all in favour of a more egalitarian system? I'm sorry, but looking out the window of your maybach over the slums says more about you than it does to the people looking in from the outside.

I'll never understand all the profiteering. There is planning, planning is good. Security is good. But I guess I was never comfortable with all these weird books I see on shelves at dedicated "business" bookshops proclaiming things like "save 100k in a year! we'll show you how!" when there are so many other printed materials out there that are far more enriching than those books. Everything in moderation. I honestly believe that profiteering should be somewhere below eating well. You don't have to be rich to eat well, read well, speak well, love well etc etc.

So i'm a hippie. Or a student. Both. But I still like hard work. I still believe in saving. It's just...hard to sympathise with alot of these open forums either here in Australia or there in the UK where people bitch and moan about their crappy lives because they can't make ends meet. Ok. On an individual level yes, I do sypathise. But I quickly remember that it's the bigger picture. It's like italian textile makers complaining that the very same fabric market they ripped off with child labour and poor working conditions is now straightening up and starting to charge for what it's actually worth (granted, I don't know if those profits are actually going to the workers) now coming back to bite them in the arse and they start crying foul when it begins to hit them back. Equivalent Exchange, you've made your economies off the backs of poorer ones and it's time to take the consequences.

It's definitely high time the 'first world' countries starting paying back a little for what they've done to other countries in the past to get them to where they are now. And if that means that you might have to skip your holiday well then rest in peace knowing that at least some child out there can now go to school. And if that's not happening either maybe it's time to start scrutinising the big figures of industry and really seeing where all this money is going. If it's going into their pockets then well, we are all buggered...and give it enough time and they'll be buggered. Maybe it won't be in my lifetime but some days I really do feel I'll see a social change that will make the 1848 revoltions look like a walk in the park.

I don't think it should get to that point. But seeing how a guy in india can build a skyscraper as a home while his fellow countrymen live in absolute squalor makes me think that it's the only way.

2007-07-04T18:39:00.000+10:00

I had a post before about the hideous pink and yellow London Olympic Games in 2012...or was it 10...hrrm...my maths is terrible. I'm going to go for 2010.

There was an article in The Age, or the Huff Post....can't remember again...but I shall provide you with this link about how long distance runners might not be expected to break any records in the Beijing Olympics.

On days when there is no rain or wind, ozone and fine dust are often two to three times the maximum levels suggested by the World Health Organization, making the Chinese capital one of the world's dirtiest cities. Endurance athletes such as marathoners and cyclists will have the toughest time—they inhale up to 150 liters of air per minute, more than 10 times what an office worker does. Spectators who are elderly, very young, or chronically ill may also encounter problems, including asthma, sore throats, and allergic reactions, all of which occur even among healthy visitors.
"I wouldn't expect a world record in the marathon in Beijing," says a physician who advises the British Olympic Committee.

Now. I'm no healt addict. But...BUT...if the conditions there are so bad...then why on EARTH did they win the olympics in the first place? It's not as if the pollution magically appeared in 2 years. Green Olympics. Green. Green this. Green that. Makes me want to puke. It's like saying something is "green" insinuates that it's an option, a value added extra to an existing product...not a standard which should be met for all products.

I think the pollution might help you know, push these people to the limit. I mean, say you do break a world record...that'd be like against all the odds...but then you'd have to lie down and get a lung transplant. *i won't be offering mine seeing as they are worthless at the moment*. I envision the opening ceremony to be something out of those 1940s (?) technicolour Maoist movies with just huge amounts of strict choreography and of course, children...because they are the best to bitch around. Revolution-whaaaaa??

Speaking of "green" stuff, I found this website while I was looking around for fabric online. It sold hemp and bamboo fabric. Bamboo, just in case you didn't know, is a weed. It'll grow and grow and suffocate anything around it...grow some more...and then eat your children and pets. I remember in my Landscape design subject I tried to specify it but was told that bamboo, unlike other plants...don't really stay in that neat little area you want it to stay in. Boo hiss...

Soy fabrics really fascinate me. Soft as silk but as warm as cashmere. I gotta try some...just a little swatch...I want to know what it feels like and how it hangs.

2007-07-03T05:54:00.000+10:00

Well, I'm still awake. And pathologically blogging.

I just registered into Etsy.com to buy some fabric *i know i know* and there are so many things people are selling. It's like an eBay for all the crafty/creative people out there who make stuff and sell it. How they don't form an emotional bond, I'll never know. After you've slaved away over something you want to give it to someone who knows you and maybe will appreciate it...and I don't know if I could put a dollar price on the stuff that I make. I mean, I could just make like hairties with those fabric covered buttons...but that's not really making stuff. And the fabric I have is BORRRING. Well, it's wearable stuff so it's not like cute owls and little bambi shillouettes. silhouettes....silhouettes....i can never spell it properly.

2007-07-03T04:35:00.000+10:00

There are some seriously fugly printed fabrics out there. I don't want to besmouch my blog by even having them here as an example.
Fugly.

2007-07-03T01:28:00.000+10:00

I have been inspired. I went to studionow.com through a link and found their fashion competitions. Unlike other competitions...there is no prize...I suppose your photo gets uploaded onto the website...but umm...WOW. The patterns there are from Junya Watanabe for Comme des Garcons, John Galliano, Yohji Yamato, Martin Margiela, and Alexander McQueen.

I was so hyped! Until I downloaded the patterns. Until I saw that they weren't marked with sizes or seam allowances....or any other noob information. Instead, What I had downloaded, and the lovely lady (Above) had figured out...was that these patterns are pretty much straight from the designer. Replete with french/italian/japanese notes and in the case of the Galliano top (above) notes made directly onto the pattern...presumably by the designer/tailor/someone extremely experienced. Suffice to say the Galliano top has some 30 pieces in it and umm...is almost impossible to understand.

On the bright side, it confirmed by belief that such labels/personalities do deserve the price tag which they whack onto their creations. It's not the simple "i'm going to make up a pattern or alter a pattern" but some kind of meticulous process involving more than just the ability to sew or draw. It's a gift. A gift i tell you.

It also made me think about how Scanlan and Theodore are suing Witchery for copyright infringements on their designs. In all respect, I have a few peices from S&T and save for the dress, I wouldn't go so far as to say that they were ingenius patterns which no one else could have concieved...nor are they so perfectly made that a rip off would cheapen the garment. The Yamato pattern is so incredibly complex...as is the McQueen one...that umm...i had a headache trying to figure out the instructions. So much folding....so much "match x to x and y to y but make sure to avoid a-b as they join f to meet d" sort of instructions.

Le sigh. Should I be able to afford these designers at any point at least I won't have to bash myself over the head wondering why I paid so much for the garment.

2007-07-02T23:23:00.000+10:00

bored BORED Bored BoReD bOrEd bored BORED Bored BoReD bOrEd bored BORED Bored BoReD bOrEd bored BORED Bored BoReD bOrEd bored BORED Bored BoReD bOrEd bored BORED Bored BoReD bOrEd bored BORED Bored BoReD bOrEd bored BORED Bored BoReD bOrEd bored BORED Bored BoReD bOrEd bored BORED Bored BoReD bOrEd bored BORED Bored BoReD bOrEd bored BORED Bored BoReD bOrEd bored BORED Bored BoReD bOrEd bored BORED Bored BoReD bOrEd bored BORED Bored BoReD bOrEd bored BORED Bored BoReD bOrEd bored BORED Bored BoReD bOrEd bored BORED Bored BoReD bOrEd bored BORED Bored BoReD bOrEd bored BORED Bored BoReD bOrEd bored BORED Bored BoReD bOrEd bored BORED Bored BoReD bOrEd bored BORED Bored BoReD bOrEd bored BORED Bored BoReD bOrEd bored BORED Bored BoReD bOrEd bored BORED Bored BoReD bOrEd bored BORED Bored BoReD bOrEd bored BORED Bored BoReD bOrEd bored BORED Bored BoReD bOrEd bored BORED Bored BoReD bOrEd

you know...after you stare ath the wored "bored" enough, it looks like "bo-red".

Holidays are supposed to be a time when you are free...free like the wind blows...unfortunately for me, it ends up being a time of:
1. jubilation! aha! no more work!
2. relaxation! ahhh...no pressing hours or deadlines
3. laziness! i can't be bothered to move
4. complete inaction and possible muscle atrophy! not sleeping or keeping normal hours and just finding everything to be a task.

Maybe...just maybe...all those chants about pro-work are true. There is just nothing to do. I dread uni while still wishing i had more than just 3 weeks till it begins again. Results come out this friday and to be honest, I'm not too concerned. I figure I can't really fail. I should probably pick up my essays before I open my mouth.

What is a girl to do with her time?

2007-06-28T16:54:00.000+10:00

You know, I will get over this obsession with Roy Mustang. I swear.
Maybe.

I was looking over at the FMA fansite and looked under fanart. Lo and Behold, there was a very nice picture of roy with his hands on his hips. Here I was thinking I was the only one that thought he was the hotness but here are some comments from the picture:

Man...of some of the things I would call out if I were watching him duel with Eric would be:
Thats right. Work it, baby.

There's even a bit of pigeon english lovin' going on. This one is both a little disturbing and true. Die for a cartoon character? Uhhhh. I would settle with human sacrifice for him to become real. Maybe not human. Animal....Eyes mini with devilish grin:Some people seem to be more stoic about their love for Roy Mustang...

very handsome? I don't know if VERY is the word I'd use in this application. More like "oh why can't you be realllllll" handsome. Jm it's time for you to lose lots of weight and grow your hair out a little and wear some blue uniforms for meeeeee..*ahem*
Too much information there? Yup.
There's also the "you took what I was thinking!" comments:Tie him up to a bed. Yes. *looks off into the distance*

See? I'm not the only one. There's unity (and competition) over how hot Colonel Roy Mustang is. It's just not fair. Animators should be more responsible when creating characters. They can't just go off and create this perfect guy and then run off knowing that they've just raised the bar for womankind everywhere?

2007-06-27T04:43:00.000+10:00

As of NOW (yes, I know what time it is)...yes, I know it's a school night....I have just finished reading Noam Chomsky's Interventions a thoroughly engaging book. That is, if you like reading a little bit of history with a little bit of skepticism and a little bit of pro-leftist ideals. If you don't like those things then it would probably be a good book to read anyway so you can get fired up and go put on that white sheet and burn a cross in your front yard. zing

*I kid, I kid.
(about the white sheet and burning cross thing)

Anyway, it's terribly lame to read the books before actually knowing anything about the author and I find that it's not always the best way to pursue knowledge. For example, I really enjoyed and agreed with Martin Heidegger's Identity and Difference. I read it about 3 years ago. Only now do I find out that he was, in fact, a Nazi...or at least a Nazi sympathiser. I think he is still alive but because of his published agreement with alot of Nazi ideals he's been on a sort of self inflicted hiatus. Which is sad, because for someone who could have agreed with Nazi ideals, alot of what he had said in that book flies in the face of what I had understood to be Nazism. To be fair, it's kind of hard to know the author and then read it because it's hard be objective when you know the face, or the persona of the person. You know? It'd be like criticising Nelson Mandela in his books, like you'd do it, but then you'd sort of feel bad because there'd be some kind of reaction like "But what have I done in my life that compares?".

Anyway....I wiki-ed Noam Chomsky to find that he has honorary degreessssssssss (I'm using lots of S-es to express how many there are) from:

University of London, University of Chicago, Loyola University of Chicago, Swarthmore College, Delhi University, Bard College, University of Massachusetts, University of Pennsylvania, Georgetown University, Amherst College, Cambridge University, University of Buenos Aires, McGill University, Universitat Rovira i Virgili, Columbia University, Villanova University, University of Connecticut, University of Maine, Scuola Normale Superiore, University of Western Ontario, University of Toronto, Harvard University, Universidad de Chile, University of Calcutta, Universidad Nacional de Colombia, Vrije Universiteit Brussel, Santo Domingo Institute of Technology and the University of Bologna. He is a member of the American Academy of Arts and Sciences, the National Academy of Sciences, and the American Philosophical Society

I think he's unearthed something greater than all his writings. How to have the most degrees with the (least?) amount of study at each of the institutions.

So yes. I won't get on my soapbox and complain about world affairs and so on...or maybe I will...hrrm...am I tired...no?.....TOO BAD!

I have but one complaint really. And that is the current treatment of indigenous peoples in NT. I don't profess to be some specialist but you know something is wrong in a society when a popular news agency has a vote on their website asking whether or not there should be indigenous reform. I don't think it's really the place of many everyday Australians (especially those living in the Eastern States and Cities) to try and intervene in something that is much more complex than just booze and now alleged child abuse. Ok, so if those things are true, everyone is complicit in the reasons which have caused it. No communities wake up one day and decide to self destruct with the consequences that the communities in the NT have ended up in. Yes there is alot of talk about how aborigines take take take and don't give back etc etc etc but when a population has been oppressed as those of the aborigines, there isn't much you can give that can make up for that, and perhaps all the effort$ made by the government just go to show that the wounds run alot deeper and need more than a bandage made of money.

Prohibition is by far the worst reaction I could have expected from Howard. Prohibiting alcohol and pornography isn't going to solve this. For starters, how about a 'Sorry'. The assumption that as soon as the word 'sorry' comes out of Howard's mouth Aborigines will start reclaiming land that is already lived on a la South Africa is RIDICULOUS.
Anyway I'm too tired to rant on about Howard and how Australia is essentially turning into the shits thanks to an indifferent majority that is being further pushed into indifference by the media and the short term memory that seems to run said media. I can think of 5 reasons now off the top of my head. IR Laws. Tampa. Hanson. Iraq. AWB. I'm sure if I stop and really think about it I'll find some more. I'm content with just summing it up with Latham's wonderfully crass criticism of Howard. Howard the "arselicker".

2007-06-25T04:31:00.000+10:00

Ta Da!Well, I've finally finished the coat after two days. Cutting is the worst part of any project. I became really irritated while I was cutting out all the pieces. Everytime I thought I was making progress, I would see the pattern piece and *oh* "Cut 2 of Interface* meaning I had to cut double the amount of pieces. Of course, no pain I experience is never fully out of my control so I should admit that I made my life worse by wanting to insert wool quilters padding between the outside fabric and the lining.

I should first explain the fabric. I went to the faithful mafia store and bought 2.5 meters of wool cashmere blend in grey. It's the most expensive material I've ever bought at 70something per meter. In fairness, the same material blend costs up to twice that at the non-mafia stores. So I was pretty happy.
I had the lining from a remnant sale that I went to last year and I kind of regretted buying it for a while until NOW!

The only problem with padding the whole thing so it's extra warm is that my sewing machine is a low shank one, meaning the foot sits lower than on high shank ones (surprise surprise). That meant alot of forcing and tugging to the point where I thought I might rip the seams. Luckily I didn't unleash my lion strength and the garment remained intact. All in all, very very satisfying!

2007-06-22T08:16:00.000+10:00

I'm so sick of this. If you don't have the time to spend with me or even try to spend time with me....I dont know what you expect me to do. You are doing all the things that irritated me from last year. Remember last year? Yeah that was shit and I'm not trying to go back to last year but it's just too fast for you to forget. You think I won't leave? I'll get bullied into staying with you from you 100 fans who are in my face because you're so nice, so perfect, the best guy they know, and continue with the praises ad nauseum. So I'm sorry that I have this wonderfully easy personality to disparage.

I'm not leaving. I'm not pressing the eject button on the co-pilot seat. I'm just letting you know, publicly, that I don't care anymore. You can say what you want about it, and I don't care anymore what anyone else says anymore. Get your priorities in order, or at least have the guts to tell me where I stand in that order. That way, it's mutual. You tell me, I'll accept it, and there won't be some kind of illusion that it's any other way. You have time for everybody else in the world but me. So just say it and then let that be it. But don't come to me with the notion that we have a perfect partnership. I don't even need it to chage, just admit it. Instead of pretending that you will spend time with me or even honour me with your time. All this talk about you actually applying for leave to go away. Don't wait for me to come up with the plan to go away.

It's not about the whole process of going away...it's just you showing some fucking effort when it comes to spending time with me. I couldn't give a rats ass if you stayed at home with me on the couch watching reruns of csi. But at least take the first step. Don't wait for the holiday plan to mysteriously appear. You missed that chance when you were "too busy" on your holiday to spend about 10 minutes online to find a place to go away. I spent more than 1o minutes looking myself. But because you couldn't take the leave...or left it up to me even though you said you had found a place (oh forgot to book it, thats right) until it's so late that everything is booked out. News flash: other people book ahead of time so as to not find themselves in a situation where there is NOWHERE to book.

Don't try and make up for it the way you did. Don't pull a "i bought you this but it's actually something my mother bought and chose...oh and i didn't have the time to engrave it despite not even having to lift a finger to look for it". You're doing it again. with the "lets stay at crown for a night in my PARENT'S room which she has for 4 nights". You want to do something special? YOU plan it. YOU make the effort. Can't make the effort? refer to above: at least have the guts to tell me where I stand. Then let it be that. No more pretending. I still love you and probably will for a long time to come. But you know, honesty is still the best policy.

2007-06-21T12:45:00.000+10:00

I really have to stop crushing on cartoon characters. It's so crazy. My brother thinks I'm crazy too. He asked me what I could find attractive about a bunch of lines and colour. Ummm...ALOT?!
First it was Maximillian Genius...or whatever...he had green hair. So really, if you think about it, I've refined my tastes more towards something more human looking!

I present to you.....
*Drumroll Please!*

Colonel Roy MUSTANG! Flame Alchemist!

A guy that can pull off a skirt-coat AND the high collar.
A cocky, powerful man who could turn you into ash as much as he could burn all your clothes off!!
No need for fumbling around with those buttons!

this is where I imagine I will be called an Otaku but that's ok. I am at peace with how insane this all is.

2007-06-18T18:05:00.000+10:00

Something to look at and collective "awwww" over:
My two chubby babies sleeping on the couch....well, one is sleeping...the other is using the sleeper as a cushion.That look right there is the "he's mine bitch!" look. See how shes got her paw on his shoulder. She's one step away from gnashing at my jugular.
"See that? I banished the 'other' woman in your life daddy! It'll be just you and me now!"
"But I'll keep one eye open just in case she tries to get between us again."

Hee hee. Is this the result of too little sleep or too much?

2007-06-15T19:45:00.000+10:00

Oh another img heavy blog. I think these are better than the ones where I sit around thinking about what to type...you know what they say!

Last week I went to Longgrain with Ling and ate so much with her that we both felt sick. We didn't realise that each dish was mean to be shared...so suffice to say we had to "walk it off" or else we were going to be sick.

This is what we ate along with the lovely fragrant rice (We ate too quickly for me to pause and take photos so you'll get to see the dishes they were in):
It was very wonderful using the kinds of flavours found in Mien Kam (apologies Jet for the crap phoenetic spelling). The fish they used looks like a prawn...but a fish. I can't remember what it was called. Spearfish?The Deep Fried Pork Hock is pretty darn amazing. It's different to the one at Thai Taste because it's cut up into bite sized chunks then deep fried. I think it's some white reflex to hate the look of pork trotters, me, I like to see it whole. The meat is kind of dry because of it and not as tender and oily as the one at Thai Taste but the fat is nicer at Long Grain. And, lets be honest, it's all about the fat.
The dessert...OHhhhhh the desert. All of it is good. The Durian tarts are a total let down. They don't really taste like durian...must be another white-ification of foods. But then, what can you expect at Long Grain. The Taro pudding is what Ling called "The asian bread and butter pudding" with its sticky caramel sauce. That was gone in a flash. The Glutinous rice was pretty good too but I was a little bit full after stuffing my face with a Sago and coconut soup thing, Young Coconut jelly, mango sorbet that was so nice it was fizzy, and what ling called Thai Goreng Pisang. So good.

2007-06-15T19:09:00.003+10:00

So I've done some ranting and I remembered why I logged on in the first place: To post up some of the stuff that I've sewed in the last few weeks:
This is the green wool that I was talking about before. So maybe you imagined I had sewed myself a little girl-leprechaun outfit but no, your deviant desires are wrong: it's more of a deeper shade of green. I used a fat quarter (yes, that's what it's called in the quilting world) of William Morris fabric for the lining just because you know...go with the whole forest green theme.
It's warm. I like it.
This smock is sewed out of that thicker cotton stretch material. Kind of like your dad's old undershirts. The ones that you steal when you see them in the dryer when he comes down and then deny any knowledge of their whereabouts...those ones. It's really warm despite being made out of cotton because I chose a thicker weave seeing as it's meant for Autumn/Spring. It took me about 1.5 hours to so all up. So really, very worth it.
This one, even though it's from the same pattern...took alot longer because silk is really hard to sew onto cotton or even itself because it keeps slipping. I would recommend wetting the fabric a little just to make it more pliable. Not too wet, unless you have one of those foot pedal operated Singer machines. I wasn't very happy with this one.

I've learnt not to trust the sizing guides at the back of sewing patterns. I always end up being a size 12 and then I go to sew something and it turns out to be HUGE and not at all my size (despite being a 12) I tend to knock it down 2 sizes...it's easier to shrink the pattern when it's closer to your size than when it's been cut 4 sizes larger.

2007-06-15T17:28:00.000+10:00

I've always wondered what the criteria is for being questioned at an airport. Especially Melbourne airport. I haven't had any crap experiences really...only once in Sydney when they were so rude to everywhere (but it's Sydney so really, it's just in their nature). That reminds me of what happened to an associate at work who was taking the drawing for one of the projects up to KL....on the way back someone lost his scroll of drawings...later they found it after he had been delayed for some time....he was tired...he was crabby...all he could say to express his fury was "you're crap!".

*hee hee you're crap...zing!

There was one time....that really bothered me. I was coming home from NYC in 2004, I was already tired after being delayed in LA for 12 hours and missing my connection. I went through passport control and for some reason...there must be like some kind of back hand baseball type signal....I was intercepted by an airport official just after passing passport control. He looked at my passport and asked me where I had been:
"New York, for a holiday"
then he asked me where i live:
"Melbourne"
then he asked me what I was doing in Melbourne:
"I live and study here?"
what was I studying?
"Landscape Architecture."
OK

I am an Australian citizen dammit! I "belong" in Australia...where else am I supposed to "belong" if not here? Where else am I going to study and live if not here? I'm a lover. Not a fighter. Unless you put in me a virtual reality game as say, an elf....against the forces of Isegard...then I'm a fighter.
oooo me wants one of those elvish swords to put on my wall.

2007-06-15T08:06:00.000+10:00

Well, I certainly have been busy in the procrastination department!

I hope my imaginary readers out there like the new layout. It took me a while to figure it out and lots of cutting and pasting in the HTML.

*quick note: Good luck for your last exam Jet!*

I've been looking around....thinking about what to do with ALL THIS FREE TIME after I finish this last essay. I've decided to stick to the plan and sew this coat:

I'm going to sew the one on the left. The one on the right is a little bit too long for my liking.

Now it's down to the colour of the Wool.

I took Elly with me to the Mafia Fabric Store and there were so many colours that I couldn't decide what to do for my wool dress. I chose a nice deep green wool that was so nice and warm....I'll post imgs of it up later.

I'm thinking Black or Grey wool. Something slightly fuzzier. I'll be using a heavier interfacing as well and the lining...well, the lining thats the best part of the whole project. I found this perforated blue and white patterned cotton. I'm not sure what it'll look like because the interfacing beneath might show through. But if it's black, you can bet your ass the lining with be YELLOW!!

If it's gray is might choose something more muted like a lighter shade of YELLOW!

2007-06-12T14:46:00.000+10:00

Do you ever have days of complete inaction? Even getting out of bed is an insurmountable task.

I'm having one of those days. Those low self esteem days.

I don't sit in front of the mirror and meticulously measure myself. I don't sigh and wail about the size of my thighs. I leave that for good days. I kid, I kid.

I mean those days when you stumble upon someones portfolio and feel like you haven't done sqaut with your design life. You get overwhelmed by the size of the design community out there. All vying to be the next Phillipe Starck complete with bathwares and kitchen utensils. Even the next Tord Boontje complete with lines in Habitat and the Moma Store. Thats not to say that the person's portfolio or the person behind it wishes for that but it kind of makes you think "What the fuck am I doing?". Guilt or shame through association? Someone should write a book about that.

I spoke to Carlos last night over gmail chat...or is it G-Chat? He's still powering on in Italy doing his masters. People are going out and doing things. I keep snapping back to september last year...wanting to see mountains, Gandalf! MOUNTAINS!

all i see is a plane of white paper and occaisonal dashes of yellow trace which I have to fill to finish this degree. After that...it'll probably be more paper and yellow trace. But at least it'll be colourful. Right now its so black and white I forget why I even chose to do this course.

2007-06-08T09:21:00.000+10:00

You know, I'm constantly adding tags to my blog. Like some attempt to organise all the drivel that I write on here. Anyway...I believe this one is actually a "fix it"

About a week ago, my the signal from my Dlink wireless router dropped to apalling levels. It wouldn't even read "Excellent" when the laptop(s) were placed directly next to it. It would drop out constantly on the laptops although the ethernet-connected desktop was fine.

It troubled me. It was getting in the way of me being lazy and doing my work on the couch in front of the TV. It also stopped me from playing successful games of DoTA because it kept shakety shaking when the signal went from poor to none.

Yesterday, I couldn't sleep so I woke up at around 12 to find my brother tinkering around with the wireless. I think he misses reading his online comics in his room. He had this window showing the strength of the signal on his laptop and he was moving the router around...kind of how you move an old TV antenna around to go the best position and when you do, you find that theres:

a. nowhere to put it down and keep a stable "good" connection
b. you've twisted yourself into an odd position that olympic gymnasts would be amazed at.

We put it ontop of the fan. The signal boosted to Good.
We then realised it resembled the makeshift wireless router booster on Instructables.
We decided to put the router INSIDE the fan (as in, remove the blades and place router in the "cage")

Nothing happened. In fact, it got worse.

We switched antennas and decided that it was just bogus that the levels were the same even though two different antennas were attached. My brother said:
"Maybe we should take it apart....nononono"

Now, I don't want to brag....yes i do!...but I love taking stuff apart. I've taken apart my laptop, my printer, my computer (regularly) and unscrewed everything until there is not a screwed screw in sight. Then I try and figure out what is wrong. I mean...obviously it won't help if you've spilt hot chocolate all over the bits and bobs but I find that it's usually a loose connection or that something has fallen in that shouldn't have.

I opened the router and lo and behold (sorry forgot to take photos) the antenna wire that's supposed to be connected to the chipset was just loose...picking up residual signal from whatever was inside the box. Not just loose...completely off the board. And not only was it completely off the board...it had been gluegunned down and probably because of the cold had completely falled off.

Correct me if I'm wrong but umm...isn't it supposed to be soldered down or something? It's like when you pay 100 bucks for something you don't expect it to be glue gunned down, you want to see metal everywhere.

So...if glue works then obviously plastic doesn't get in the way of the signal. I used my trusty magic tape to tape the end of the antenna down to its little "spot" and bam! IT'S ALLIIIIIVEEEEE!!

It's been this way for how long I don't know but now I can actually surf the net in my room with a really good signal instead of falling onto "Poor" everytime I move just a little bit.

There's my tip: open it up and tape down anything thats loose.

Pity brains don't work like that because I think a few screws in my head are coming loose.

oh yeah and one more:
Pour some white vinegar onto a bunch of saucers and place them around your house to get rid of bad smells.

2007-06-06T08:57:00.001+10:00

This absolute cracker of a logo comes from the London 2012 Olympic Games.
Pink and yellow are great colours on their own and I don't think I need to further extoll my love for the colour yellow.
Apparently the ad for this wonderful logo triggers epilepsy and is currently undergoing some "editing".

I would think that just by looking at the image and kind of shaking your head would cause a severe headache. It wasn't until about 5 minutes ago I realised that all those shards were numbers! Success! Is this perhaps a subliminal message to architects and design freaks out there that the new olympic grounds will have a similar building footprint? Donald Bates must be rolling on the floor in ecstacy just looking at it.

It kind of looks like Zaha Hadid and some 1970s graffiti artists sat down and game up with this logo together. Oh and perhaps influenced by Britains favourite colony Australia. That zero looks like the centennial "australia" logo that was used in 1988.

Yeah the interest is gone now. I just thought it was weird that they chose pink and yellow.

2007-06-05T13:11:00.000+10:00

This is the stuff movies are made of:

A father-to-be last night led police officers on a high speed pursuit after his pregnant wife's waters broke.

At about 8pm police on the Kiewa Valley Highway, near Wodonga in the state's north, noticed a speeding vehicle travelling in the opposite direction.

"The officer completed a u-turn and attempted to catch up to the vehicle," a Victoria Police spokeswoman said.

Police caught up to the motorist on the Murray Valley Highway and tried to get him to pull over.

"The driver has continued and led police to the Wodonga Hospital where he pulled up outside the maternity section."

Police spoke to the driver, a Tawonga man, who told them his pregnant wife's waters had broken and she suffered a medical condition that required immediate treatment.

The woman was then rushed to hospital, where she gave birth to a healthy baby boy.

"Both Mum and baby Alexander are doing well," the police spokeswoman said.

Senior Constable Peter Greaves from Tangambalanga police said the man only escaped penalty because of the exceptional circumstances surrounding the incident.

"This was a desperate situation because of the complications involving mother and baby. Police do not condone this kind of behaviour but we ended up with a good result.

"The father-to-be was given a stern lecture on the value of calling an ambulance," Senior Constable Greaves said.

theage.com.au

Now thats what I call chivalry. Good thing the police didn't end up taking him to jail because I'm pretty sure most soon-to-be fathers would have done the same thing in that position.

How much do you want to bet that the child will grow up to be a F1 racer?

2007-06-04T12:52:00.000+10:00

And the category for wierdest dream this month goes to...ME!

Last night I had a dream about some kind of odd cult/zombie thing set in this alternate universe. There was a house on a cliff with very little edge around it ...about 30cm I'd say...and this baby had been stolen. Anyway...that bit wasn't the zombie thing.

There was this scene in my dream which was filmed (if you will) from a birds eye view and it was this massive snowy plane which was all whitish blue (like antarctica) and there were these prisms cut out of it some which were slightly indented downwards were more blue and others were like blue black. Then this herd of people all painted white and naked *no, no boobies or butts were discernable* ran across the field because it was a ritual of these people who dived into the blue black areas because they were openings into the icy sea below. they dived in and up again with these huge humpbacks akin to these ritual done by humpbacks in real life. I could see them doing it from under water with the huge whale in the middle and all these people divind down with it. There was this girl who was grabbed from below and her eyes suddenly turned white and she was gone.

Then I arrived at this weird insitutional building like a library and went through it and the entrance was something out of cirque du soleil. It was like two massive red rubber ribbed petals which you walked through but because they tapered down you can to crawl your way through these petals. I felt like i would never see the end of the red petal tunnel (God, it sounds like I'm describing what it's be like to be a baby coming out of her mothers vajayjay).

Anyway...it was just too bizarre for me.

2007-05-31T07:43:00.000+10:00

Woooooo diatribe coming in fresh from the oven!

I trawl through news websites first thing in the morning. Or afternoon. Depending when I wake up...whatever.

I like seeing what makes the "online edition" because to me it represents a one page spread that has to include everything and it's often quite interesting to see what gets included. I suppose I could go further and say that the "fold" on broadsheet newspapers like The Age can be represented by the window that you see when you first enter the website. Funnily enough, I would say that the Hun is consistent with its layout seeing as they have weird sensationalist stories for their first "fold".

Since a few days ago there have been a few articles showing the fall from grace by John So. There are even votes on The Age that ask "Is it time for So to go?" (+10 for rhyming). Last I checked, it's not really up to Corinne from Hawthorn to decide if So should indeed go. He's the mayor for the city of Melbourne. Not Boroondara, Casey, Monash, Stonnington, etc. What right do others have to tell So what he should be doing in his own municipality when their own is stifled with the same administrative problems? Melbourne is different, I get that, because it's municipality happens to include the capital city of Victoria. But then, I see the way people trash and degrade the city and I wonder if they really have a right to complain about it. By all means, the city is everyones, not just mine (although, that would be nice too) but you can't have the cake and eat it too. You can periodically come into the city, trash it, then complain that the mayor is not doing enough.

One person on the Hun used the example of higher parking meter fees in the city. Well, news flash: If you want to drive into the city then you should probably have to pay for it too, no? Melbourne is the epicenter for public transport. It's the Rome of public transport. All modes of public transport (save for buses) go back into the city. Agreed, at night probably not the best idea to catch the Airport West tram, but that's not the problem of the council. If it's totally overstocked with cars thats due to its increased popularity over the last 5 years.

Sorry, I've gone off the beaten track again. I justdon't like it when people start criticising the mayor for things which would be out of the control of many other mayors in other councils should they be blessed/cursed with the same fortune. They can't call for his step down? Only the people who live in the council of Melbourne can do that....I don't understand how people can miss such a basic step of reasoning. It'd be like calling for Chavez's resignation from australia. Not that John So is a communist (ha! more like the opposite) dictator (that would require him to be able to dictate clearly).

If anything I am looking forward to seeing what the other candidates are come election time. He's been great for the city in terms of exposure and gaining more recognition. However, there are other areas that need to be addressed like perhaps making the city safer. I don't believe in a police state but I've seen a little too much crime around the city to feel safe anymore. Agreed, I am not the most overwhelmingly built person out there but it gets a little much when I'm afraid to take late classes because I don't want to have to walk home late at night. Late being 10. I don't really have a problem with parking seeing as a don't drive and well, most people who live in the city have carparks (OK I don't have one of those either). So that's outsider problem 1. Crime, well, I don't see alot of MCC people smashing up their own neighbourhoods. Besides...each time something gets broken as public property in some way, my council rates will go towards paying to get it fixed. Not some surcharge that visitors have to pay.

Anyway...I've lost where I was going with this. I get the feeling that there is more at work here than just people wanting So out. Seems more like a strange scuttling from inside the council by digruntled connected members of the MCC who have been shown the door. I'd like to see the other "major" councils undergo some scrutiny before they start pinning their problems on the MCC.

2007-05-28T07:24:00.000+10:00

Wow. I think I have just broken my sleep record. I managed to sleep away all of friday/saturday/sunday night. I've woken up intermittedly to eat but then I just go back to sleep. I've lost 2 days of my life because I chose to add on 3 in the last week.

I am definitely getting old.

I used to be able to stay up just for the heck of it.

Last week I was struggling to stay up 3 days in a row. Mind you, I did have 2 hour naps and slept a total of about 11 hours through those 3 days. My eyes began to quiver, my brian was constantly on. For the last two days I've been dreaming about uni work. Waking up and thinking that I still had to do my model/exam/drawings only to remember that I'm done except for two more essays which is not really a point of concern for me.

Here I go...rambling about uni. But I'm so over it. I'm so done with it. My head still hurts from everything and I'm not sure why. I think I might be falling ill too :o( it's like when you inhale...and then you exhale you feel all the dizziness from not having enough oxygen.

2007-05-19T04:35:00.000+10:00

Dude, it's, like, omg, like, FOUR THIRTY FIVE IN THE MORNING.

egads!

Why you ask? Because my hours are so nicely screwed up that I just can't function during daylight hours. I'm still getting my recommended 7-8 hours of sleep per day...it's just that I fall asleep when most of you (my avid readers out there....way way out there) are getting into the swing of things.

It's a completely dumb way of working really seeing as I'm getting the same amount of sleep...it's just at different times, so I should just straighten my hours into this incredibly sustainable practice.

I just thought I'd have a quick rant while I'm patiently waiting for my render to *happen*.

I hate whingy vegetarians. You don't hear about whingy omnivores. I don't bitch about leather shoes that I bought that ended up being *gasp* vegetarian (read: some kind of vinyl which probably has more embodied energy in it than leather). I don't demand that my food doesn't have any traces of meat in it (not even in the food chain). Pleaasee....will they all just shut the fuck up? why are so many of them internet ready? Is this some vast conspiracy where the internet is being taken over by vegans? Mind you...some of my friends are wonderful vegetarians.

They've given up giving me abmonishing stares when I order the main lasagna dish at lunches. They've given up pulling faux nausea looks when I dig into my meat like a depraved animal.

In return, I've given up "oohhh this is sooo good...do you want to try-oh. that's right. sorry. my bad"-ing when I eat.

I have no problem to their "moral objection" to meat/eggs/dairy/etc but lately I've noticed (maybe it's the places online I go to) vegetarians espousing all the wonders of cutting said products out of their diets. Like when they talk about calcium and milk. Please. Milk? You want to cut that out too? Ohhh it's cancer forming. Ummm...cancer = bed. osteoporosis = bed. their witty riposte is usually "oh just do some weights to increase your bone density and eat lots of leafy greens" because apparently...20kgs of spinach has as much calcium as milk. Or whatever. I make sweeping generalisations. That's the beauty of ranting.

Spinach must be the demi-god of vegan-ism. low in iron? SPINACH! low in calcium? SPINACH! low in fibre? SPINACH! They always seem to leave out the quantity of spinach I'd have to eat to attain those daily requirements. I can just imagine...Oooo yum 1kg of boiled spinach for breakfast! mmmmm. Give me the greasiest breakfast on this planet and I will die happy. I love me some bacon. Baccoonnnn....with eegggss...and hash browns...and sausages.....and tomatos....fat toast covered in cream cheese....mmmm

I don't know why everyone hates on meat. Yeah we shouldn't be charging it with all sorts of hormones...it's just a little bit freaky when your steak is the size of your face. I like my steaks like my men (no relationship btw) trim, taught and smothered in gravox *bwahahahah

ok. too much information there huh.

okkaaayyy...well, that was *awkward*

If I were a cut of beef...I would be...beef bacon. A little be grotesque, marbled with fat, and best served hot tsssssss zing!

If jm were a cut of beef he would be....porterhouse. A good cut. One of the best cuts. But with a little bit of fat on the edges. Tasty fat...no one's saying it's bad fat...but fat all the same.

If my brother were a cut of beef he would be...scotch fillet. Ze Best Cut Of Ze House. Tender if well done (having a good day) or extremely tough (having a bad day) depending on how its cooked.

shit im running out of cuts.
ah my render is finished.

2007-05-11T04:30:00.000+10:00

Today (Tonight) my gift to all of you is a nice little link here:

http://www.ecotaining.com/attachments/TrueFoodGuide2.pdf

Don't ask me to elaborate upon what spurred on this act of generosity. Suffice to say that I watched 'The Corporation' and became overwhelmingly disgusted. I suppose the above link is for people like myself who, despite their extremely unhealthy eating/living/smoking/drinking habits paradoxically want to cut back on unnessesary health hazards.

Now, I'm not a self professed Greenie but I do disapprove of certain things which I believe could qualify me as a bit of a luddite tree hugger. I do not like the idea of Genetically Modified foods. I have a problem with it just because it's kind of hard to empirically prove that it wont affect your body/health in the future. I suppose it's being a little too critical but I've decided that nature is best not meddled with. Humans have done a bang up job already so why make things worse, right?

The link is just a little list of brands which do have GM products in them either directly through the feed or from somewhere in their foodchain. I know I know, there isn't any direct proof in there but it's not like I have to cut out stuff that I eat on a day to day basis. It's just a brand thing that I'm putting on my fridge so I can remind myself of brands (for that category) not to buy when possible.

For example, I love me some pasta. I love it. If I'm not Domestic Goddess-ing by making fresh pasta I'll buy it. I buy Divella. It's not on the list so I feel safe. HAHAA. But I do buy brands like Vetta and, devastatingly enough, Barilla. I always thought Barilla was like the industry standard for instant pasta. I'm sure it still is taste and quality wise but...again, no thanks. I'll stick to my Divella and Zafarelli. On the bright side, Vetta and especially Barilla are more expensive anyway.

Another bit of devastation, Helga's Bread. Those ads! That soft white bread (lightly dusted with flour)! Again, another bright side, Noble Rise is pretty much the same and doesn't have GM in it.
Another blow is that Western Star is GM...but then I looked at the green column and umm...I don't do margarine. Sorry, it's a principle. In this case, I would like to openly contradict myself and say that I'd rather grow a fifth finger rather than eat margarine/spreads.

A half blow is in the cheese section. I love me some Mainland Colby. Nothing melts like it. So again, open contradiction although if I do find a nice little substitute I will probably have a whole post dedicated to my absolution from guilt. On the bright side, I can justify buying more King Island products. Brie is like permanently melted cheese. *drroooool* Not to mention their yoghurts...*double drool*. I recommend the honey and cinnamon yoghurt. For some reason, when I eat it, I think of the biblical food 'manna'.

So there it is. My little step towards kind of...sort of...doing something short of growing and producing my own food. Unless anyone wants to donate me a lamb or ten...I'll be more than glad to um..'house' them in a 'room' otherwise known as my oven at 150 degrees celcius for 1 hour per kilo. I'll get JM to kill it. I don't handle blood very well. I can instruct.

"No NO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? The shank cut should be higher than the knee!!!"

2007-05-08T06:16:00.000+10:00

***extra stuff from last post***

I started reading the link and I still feel scared shitless just thinking about it. It's still dark because its 6am but you know I keep flinching at the littlest sign of movement.
Here's more gross stuff about the Chicken Eating Spider so you don't have to click on the link. Oh and of course, it includes my witty ripostes for free:

Oh look the Mommy Spider is so loving:

Seeing the big mama tarantula with the young was remarkable. Most tarantulas are in no way gregarious. In fact, they often cannibalize their own young. So seeing that was very unusual. But it may make sense. It looks like when they go out at night as a group, they can catch and kill larger prey by working together.

When I read this, the first thing that came to my mind was that (if spiders can talk) the mommy has the best rebuttal for any complaints: "You know, other moms eat their kids. So STFU"

If you thought your occupation was high stress:

We also discovered that those spiders appeared to be keeping a pet. There was a little frog that lived down in the hole with the spiders. It may offer some sort of service to spiders, like sweeping up ants that might bother the spiders.

I feel so bad for that frog. I'm sure it's all very lovely and furry in the burrow but it's not like cuddling up to a rabbit at night when you sleep.

Looking for a new Pet/Hobby?:

Oh yes. I live in a big converted chapel, and they've got one whole end of a hall. I keep, breed, and photograph dozens of species. I always say keeping and feeding 500 tarantulas is cheaper than keeping a single dog!

Uh huh. One dog can't kill you in 500 different ways.

URRGGHH spiders. YUCK. How am I going to get back to sleep? I try to get over it. I think of charlottes web and still nothing. I'm still competely petrified of spiders. Especially those small ones. What if they crawl in your ear!? This is my equivalent to Subliminal's gecko. I couldn't give a rats ass that spiders make kevlar or whatever hi tech fabric. I'm sure they have their place in the biosphere but dammit I'm human. By virtue of that, I don't have to let anything exist unless it has a direct use for me. Spiders are neither tasty or good to look at.

2007-05-08T06:07:00.000+10:00

There are many threats to global happiness and much like wars and famine, there is one that I would like to point out. (And by no means am I equating it with said wars/famine/poverty)

I love me some chicken. I loooove chicken. Not as much as bacon, but then I don't have to worry about Pig Eating Spiders, do I? I love Nandos, KFC, Red Rooster, Roast Chicken from the Supermarket, etc etc.

Check out this mofo of a spider:
Apparently it's a FOOT LONG. What kind of spider is a whole 30cm (ish) long??? Wtf do you kill it with? Instinctively I would get a rolled up magazine but I'm going to go on a hunch and say that by the time you get close enough to swat it, it'd run up your leg and like start chewing on your nose. *brrr* I would say a nice big phonebook might work but *oh god* THE GUTS!

I saw it on BB and there's more info at this link

That spider eats chickens. Maybe it just scares the bejeesus out of the chickens. That insect is so gross. It's not like the normal furry-ish small ones that I see now and then. This spider could eat my Mini!!! As much as I want to check out Aztec civilisation I'm going give Peru, the home of this beast, a miss. Thankyou very much.

2007-05-05T09:06:00.000+10:00

It is with much sadness and regret that I come to you today posting at 9am, a full hour after I was supposed to be on a bus to Geelong to go look at shitty gardens until 5pm. Did I mention that there is round two tomorrow at 8am-2pm?

I'll probably intercept the group at the Docklands which, strangely enough, I consider to be more of civilization than Geelong but lacks the community to fill it. It must be a location thing. I suppose I should feel bad, a little remorseful, but I don't. I just feel indignant. I love my weekends. I love that it's my time. I can study (and often do) on the weekends, but I do it on my time and my schedule and I find I'm more productive (uni wise) on the weekends than during the week where I'm literally the hamster in a wheel running from one thing to another getting things done before work on Wednesdays. This is what I don't understand about the course. It's 3 weeks to end of semester..most people have design on the side which is now coming to the full steam *choo choo* smokers delight with late nights and lacerations caused by model making.

Frankly, I should be organised, just like other classmates of mine who have blatantly said that they aren't going. And there is another in my group who mysteriously smsed me this morning saying she had work. HAHAHAHAHA so I called her and made her confess. Only to admit that I too, was still at home and had just jolted up from sleep.

This brings me to my dissatisfaction with uni. I like work. I like doing it. I like getting good marks. The thing is I see it as something that occupies the working days and its intrusion to my weekend is totally unacceptable. At work, I had gone in on weekends, done late nights, but that work wasn't speculative (read: I was being paid).

I saw this thing on the Hun about how Oxford University has published some kind of research paper suggesting that teens could/should start school at 10am due to later hours and different lifestyles. I'm all for it. The way I see it is that if you get the 6 hours of school it doesn't really matter what hours of the morning you start.

Some of the commentors suggested that today's youth (yawn) are lazy undisciplined asshats that just stay up talking on the mobile phone. Granted, I did stay up late talking on the phone, but I also remember my final years of high school being a mix of insomnia and stress (I use that term lightly in comparison). I don't know why but I couldn't cope like my peers with all the early starts. It wasn't the time spent at school, it was what time it started. But having said that I don't really care what time school starts, at this point, the education system's last problem is "should we start at 8 or 10am?"

I look back now and see the direction of high school, university, life getting more and more strenuous on the individual. I don't have any ambitions of trying to draft some kind of utopian canon for the world to break free. School is for learning, and getting out of your parents hair when they are working. University is for learning and making yourself (hahaha) employable in the future. Work is about learning/getting paid so that you can have have kids (double hahahaha) and rinse, repeat.

It's not that I think I have it bad in a postmodern world in a developed country but rather that there have been so many documents/articles about the growing amounts of time spent at work which cuts into our personal time, and that even isn't so personal anymore. You can't spend your days just working and working and sleeping then working. I tried that schtick in 3rd year and I'm still recovering from being a little bit worn out. At the same time we are being told that to have a fulfilling life we should have friends, family, this car, that dress, etc. The first two are so precious that its sad to see kids growing up without parents and families becoming increasingly disconnected due to longer working hours by the parents to make ends meet/provide. The last two are pointless given the latter environment. What's the point in having that "excellent driving experience" if I'm just driving it to and from work in a daze and the car spends most of its time in a carpark. Whats the point in buying x item when I can't use it because I'm never at home/out and frankly, I don't think many workplaces would appreciate that "stunning sexy black dress".

So this little diatribe is my way of venting my frustration at everything. What am I working for? I love what I do and I can't even dream of doing anything different save for side projects. What's the point in trying so hard if you already know where you are headed. The balanced life is reified at every corner. How am I supposed to have balance when those things that purportedly give me balance require some kind of imbalance at some point? I feel like its embodied in this school I read about in Sydney (where else) that has a "business styling" where kids can order cafe lattes and they learn about businesses and shares before they are taught things like literature, art, history - you know, all those useless boring things. Their parents send them there to geta leg up. That's not learning. That's being brainwashed into thinking and believing that success at making money is the greatest acheivement in life.

Kudos to all the ambitious people, but I highly doubt the Buffets, Jobs, and Gates out there would credit their schooling (directly) to the successes that they've become. Some people are more driven than others to succeed and go on them. But I don't know why we demonise people who perhaps don't share the same goals. For some people being a success will be sending their kids to a good school, others wil believe its trekking across Everest, and others will believe that it will happen when they have more money than god.

Bah. Enough post rationalising. I suppose I'll plod along to the field trip later today.

2007-05-03T17:59:00.000+10:00

It's been a good year for Australian Politics. I've just managed to pull my digital tv cable over to my decoder box. the new configuration doesn't do much for entertainment. Last night i tuned into the ever-familiar ABC to watch some solid british shows...alas there wasn't much on. However, there was this show called spicks and specks which tests the contestants knowledge of music. Carl Cox (I hear he's quite the DJ) was on and he was really sporting with all the weird questions and jokes on the show.

Anyway that show was followed by The Chaser's War on Everything which I never really watched before because the Glass House *sigh* used to be on and that was, for me, satire gold. Last night I watched a full episode and if the bits weren't funny they at least made me smile. The absolute best thing I've seen on free to air TV has been placed below for your viewing pleasure.

The Ghost of Mark Latham:

This is an absolute classic. I loved the "There's no vote in maaaan booooobs"

Oh and this one because I totally agree:

Number plates. Really. It's a pity they didn't target those assholes who get those EU styled numberplates. It's a very nice numberplate, but since it's not just the normal number plate, it's just pretentious.

yay now i have something watch on TV other than those great late night black and whites on ABC.

2007-05-01T05:37:00.000+10:00

It's Mud Crab season!!

Hip Hip Hooray!

Two days ago JM brought over 2 huge mud crabs. One was quite ferocious so it got killed first. But the point of this is that mud crabs (2 large ones) are 60 bucks!!
Score!

If you think about it, it can feed 5 people especially if you make it how I like it: Ob Woon Sen is a Godsend. I've finally gotten my appetite back since I got sick last week. I think it was something to do with stress. Anyway...if you can see the timestamp on this entry it would say that I'm up at around 5:45am.

It's a gift. I have been playing too much DOtA so I've been dreaming about standing guard around towers. I wake up feeling a little bit too agressive for it to be normal. I keep dreaming that I'm either Traxex or the Dwarven Sniper dude. Basically all ranged heroes. Is this some kind of subliminal message that I have some serious hate issues on people from a distance? Who knows? Im pretty sure I don't. Although...I do hate those wankers who harass people when they are drunk.

Anyway, I suppose I should snuggle back into bed with Mini in tow.

2007-04-26T07:58:00.000+10:00

It's 7:58am.

I don't think I've been awake at this time in a while.

I slept at about 4am. So technically thats 3 hours of sleep.

Yesterday I slept at 7am and woke up at 4pm.

I think I'm becoming like that girl in that CSI episode who does + and - for calories...just that mine is sleep.

Yesterday I was talking to SUMF online and I told him about that old wives tale: One hour before midnight is worth two. I think there's some merit to it! I don't think I see things as "I'll wake up and do it" but "I'll just stay up a little later and do it" which then fucks everything up.

In my conversation with SUMF I was feeling emo over the usual things. You know, feeling hopeless and pointless in this life. OK. Not pointless as in I want to kill myself, more that I've lost sight of the beaten path. I'm wandering off into oblivion and frankly, I wouldn't be surprised if I fell of the edge of the world tomorrow.

But hopefully it won't be tomorrow because I'd really like to be able to watch Pirates 3. And Order of the Phoenix. And Batman. Maybe 300 again. *Droooool....men in red capes and leather speedos.

2007-04-23T15:24:00.000+10:00

Slipping back into insomnia.

I slept at about 6am last night...I haven't been able to adjust my sleeping hours. I find that I can't sleep due to some kind of anxiety. And unlike 2004, I don't do work when I can't sleep. I just kind of sit in front of the tv or surf the net.

Bah.

2007-04-18T18:04:00.000+10:00

Sometimes we get ideas which are so implausible that they are laughable. These ideas are usually entrenched in some kind of prejudice. It's kind of like this article I read yesterday thanks to AJ
where a Malaysian MP stated that if it weren't for some kind of unsaid overarching peace deal made in Malaysian society, Malays would kill Chinese, Chinese would kill Malays and Indians would kill anyone else standing. This is what, I believe, TIME calls "political gaffes" where you say something that is so ludicrous that it is, nay must, be a joke.

Littly Johnny came up with one today. To deter Asylum seekers coming to Australia, we should enter into a sort of people trade of immigrants. yes! Lets revert back to the trade of human beings seeking a better life! ABC news had a very nice snippet of JH saying something like "it will serve as a deterrant to potential asylum seekers". Firstly, I should point out that the trade is between Australia and the US. Because, you know, the US doesn't already have a slight social/cultural/political issue on its hand to do with illegal immigrants. Lets exacerbate it! Australia is, according to JH and is cronies, jam packed with people and we surely do not have enough room for people who have come from war torn countries (which we've gladly played...oh sorry...paid...a part in) to seek a place of refuge from violence and abuse.

There are times when I just wonder what kind of world we live in where the trade of human beings becomes reinvented from "slave trade" to "deterrant for asylum seekers". Frankly, I think it would encourage asylum seekers to stop off at Australia. Sent to the US? Bonus! It's like being told that you've been bumped up to first class! Instead of being shacked up at a shithole like Woomera, you get to work in rich people's gardens and take care of their children for sums of money which, in remittance value alone, is more than 70 BILLION DOLLARS per year.

I'm not saying that an asylum seeker has it better either way...but it makes me wonder. If Family First is this wonderful christian political party why hasn't Master Steve Fielding put up his hand and said, "Wait a moment, isn't this just a legitimised slave trade?". The US knows that immigrants and other minorities coming from war torn countries will do the work that many American's won't do.

So you see, Australia and Australians don't care about asylum seekers, all we care about is moving them off to another country. Out of sight out of mind.

Can anyone show me a website or a forum for political debate/discourse? Australians in general, are too quick to slam America for being a "stupid, ignorant, intolerant, etc" country. At least there is an open form of political discourse. there is nothing here. Laws get passed with nary a blip on the screen. We care more about Australian Idol than we do about the plight of many everyday Australians. Americans may have voted Bush into power (ok...Diebold did) but at least there is discourse. Here, there is nothing but deafening silence. The Chaser can only do so much.

Oh shit.

time to get back to the books.

2007-04-17T16:16:00.000+10:00

I would like to know if my muscles can become atrophied due to using my mouse too much.

Lately, I've noticed that my hand can't open things that it used to. For example, It's almost always a task now to open a screw top bottle of wine *cringe*. A pre-opened bottle of chilli is impossible to open without resorting to those fat red rubber bands you get with the newspaper.

Just a thought.

2007-04-16T18:10:00.000+10:00

I went to the library today *cue mass yawn*. Libraries and their catalogues are to me, what day planners are to organisation freaks. I like to know that the book I'm going into uni for is neatly there on the shelf next to 702.36590 THAM or something. I like to know that I will be rewarded for my journey into uni with lots of books to feel miserable and befuddled with. All those wishes were thwarted today.

I went to the locations of all my books and I found 2 out of 9 listed on my neatly printed sheet of paper. I got lost amongst the shelves looking for the 799 series. I was reassured that I wasn't the only one who couldn't find this elusive shelf because someone had scrawled in pen "WHERE IS 799?" on a column next to the 798 shelf.

Even when I could find the shelf I found that the book didn't exist. Someone must have beat me to the book! *runs to computer* *clackety clack clack* "hrrrrrmmmm". It says that it's available! It's been hidden! BASTARDS!

Ok. This isn't a rant, more like a journey. Besides, it's lots of fun looking at the books around where you are looking. Marxist cities? Urban Development of New Mexico? Feminist City? It's always fun looking at some of the titles. It almost seems to be a waste that book covers are designed because they are always hidden and the spine is the only part you see. Although, there's a really nice feeling when you take out a bland black spine (dreading the bland black writing inside it) to be assaulted with some Constructivist drawing of a city in bright green on black. *there is hope! *Maybe the contents will also be as interesting as the cover!

No Dice.

Just as dry (even though it's necessary) as the plain black book in my hand.

2007-04-15T18:13:00.000+10:00

It is impossible to do any work in this house.

I've decided that the older you get, the more specific you get. That's why old people are so picky.
What is a quirk when you are young becomes a fully fledged OCD problem when you're older.

I like to work in silence. But I like to work with music. So really, I like to dictate my silence. I hate the noises around me that I can't control. I mean, cars and trucks and people outside don't annoy me...It's the things that emit noise that don't usually. AKA my kitchen. Taps. People. You can't tell your parents to just shut up.

urgh.

2007-04-15T03:05:00.000+10:00

WELL. I should have relabeled that last post under "The M Word".

I *knew* it was coming I just didnt know when.
I had been sleeping 14 hours a day...slurring around for no apparent reason and eating chocolate (I don't usually splurge on sweets).

I'm 23 and I still don't know when I'm going to get my period. I think I like to keep it a SURPRISE!!

I know that I almost always get it either in the morning or at night. So i haven't really had one of those *eeek* moments at work. If I have, I've blocked them out and I don't remember them because they are beneath layers of psychosis.

I went to JE's blog before and decided to stalker my way through the his links. There is one in there which has all these photos which remind me of 1st/2nd year. A strange acidic feeling comes to my tummy. What with all these shots and "bombs" at clubs. Not Jaeger bombs, but things like "Midori and Orange" or "Apple and Apple Vodka". Reminds me of that line in Hot Chick when Rob Schneider (sp?) orders "Two Slippery Nipples and A Strawberry Daquiri Please!".

*hee hee hee

It's the end of the mid-semester break and I have succeeded in procrastinating for a whole week! And I know what that meeeaans....It means I'll be cramming furiously starting from...tomorrow!

2007-04-14T15:03:00.000+10:00

hola!

Time for another rant!

I've given this one marginally more thought that others: 2 seconds.

I was just on Techdirt and there is a user survey which asks which threats do you think are most important re: the internet. The first one, (the only one I saw just before flicking over to blogger), was "Net Neutrality".

Techdirt and Boing Boing have had numerous articles over this Net Neutrality thing. And, from what I can gather, it's about allowing all content to be available on the internet, despite what you or I may believe is tasteful/correct. I agree with it. I would miss those days where a little slip on the keyboard sends me to some XXX webiste because now you can dirty up any word with the right tone. I would also miss the days of reading forums laughing to myself as someone gets "virtually" stomped on for denying that there ever was a Holocaust. Sometimes I think that information and ethics will often correct itself. Distorted Opinion A gets thrown out there...and the A Minions will furiously agree. B Mionions who do not agree are welcome to talk along and have a debate...I find that what most people would call morally true will come out on top. Murkier issues like race and gender are less clear cut so those tend to go on for pages and pages...but all the same, I like the idea that people can learn from the internet. Oo yes, it is a learning tool.

So here is condition one: I support Net Neutrality.

Alan Jones. What is there to say? There are many Alan Jones-es out there and sometimes they have valid points like "Why are we still sitting on our arses over IR laws?" and then there are others like "Why are we sitting on our arses over letting non-Euopean descendants immigrate to Australia". Cronulla was an event which I still wince over when the media mentions it or, worse still, when people from other countries, posting on overseas blogs, start talking about it. All of a sudden we're all lobster red sunburnt white men with Australian flags draped over us while holding onto a stubby of VB...oh and chanting racist remarks.

I'm not going to pretend that Australia is this wonderful loving country full of happy ewoks who live in trees and espouse love and charity every day. The same way alot of Americans don't identify with Don Imus, Australians don't identify with Alan Jones. Don Imus had the plug pulled to his show. Uproar! Censorship! Jubilation! I don't really want Alan Jones off the air, because much like the concept of Net Neutrality, I should be able to listen to what I want should I want to. I suppose what I'm really struggling with is that unlike the internet, there are specified channels which I am forced to go through to reach my goal. In that way, I am not spoon fed information. I suppose you can just "switch it off" but the TV and radio are both dependent on programming in a linear sense. The news is every hour, between that, there are shows which I can not simply change. Ok, well I suppose given an adequate amount of training and computer gear I could change, but then I'd go to jail. I don't think the judge is going to accept my plea that "I much prefer the Contemporary Classical program over the European Contemporary Explorations program. Surely your honour, do you like disjointed notes?"

Now that I've reconciled that perhaps Net Neutrality and keeping people like Alan Jones in the public eye may be necessary to uphold a democratic society...I can begin the diatribe!

On the Hun people regularly comment over how Victoria is a nanny state under Bracks. I'm sure now there will be people blaming Bracks over not having the power of will to remove Jones' power of speech through sheer will and of course, laser vision. Everything, from tunnels to train lines is "Oh its Bracks". Ummm...who got the privatisation ball rolling? Kennett (bless his heart)!

If you don't like the government censoring what you see/hear, then perhaps you shouldn't be pressuring them to censor something that you (and a majority of people) also do not like to see. Yes, Jones is repulsive. Yes, he has abused his public influence...but you can't just pull him off the air for doing what he does best, shocking people into knee jerk reactions. His talk is provocative at best and those who call up have already made up their minds and are just happy to know that they can air out their prejudices in public because, as they learnt the hard way, it's probably best not to shout "GO HOME YOU GOOKS!" in the middle of Cabrammatta at 3am. If you don't like it, switch it off. But most people don't. They just tune it out...and wey-hey people like Jones still get advertising funds because according to whatever media counters there are, you're still tuning in/watching. No one forces you to listen to radio programs. They are the best things to switch off because with a flick of the finger you can listen to a host of other channels. You aren't limited to 5 channels like free to air TV.

I don't think I'm on the left anymore. I don't think it's even worth labeling anymore. The left wants Alan Jones out because he spouts racist/bigoted ideals = The right say, "stop being so sensitive!". The right want the internet censored in schools and the reinstatement of RE in schools = The left say "don't try to indoctrinate our young! Let them make up their own minds!"

Can't have the cake and eat it.

Don't like being in a nanny state? Then stop acting like you're 4 years old and unable to decide whether you should piss in your pants or piss in the toilet. Don't like Alan Jones? Switch it off but I'd rather have someone ranting and raving in public instead of holidng private rallies in their homes inciting more hatred which can't even be countered by the odd caller.

ok...I think I've strayed off what I wanted to say.

Ah yes. Don Imus didn't merit a public announcement by Bush...so then why is Howard giving his two cents now? Howards fine with it? Ummm...isn't that death to most of Jones' listeners seeing as most of them were frothing at the mouth over the IR laws that he authored? Rudd threw in his two cents too (a unified front towards disunity! what a brilliant idea!).

Can't you just do a Thomas More and shut the fuck up?? Oh wait. It's the dog whistle that's been playing a tune for the last eight years. I keep forgetting. Why don't we all say yes to his right to an opinion but say we disagree to what that opinion is. That is far more democratic than just sheepishly agreeing for the sake of keeping votes.

2007-04-12T13:37:00.000+10:00

I just recieved a phonecall from the dude I dropped my D:\ off to...

DIDMHDOT (Dude I Dropped My Hard Drive Off To): Hello
Me: Hello?
DIDMHDOT: Hi, this is peter from blah blah computer store...
Me: Uhhh
DIDMHDOT: I'm calling about the hard disk that you dropped off yesterday?
Me: AH Yes!
DIDMHDOT: I managed to recover the data but there's more than 40 gig in there.
Me: That's fine.
DIDMHDOT: I just wanted to know if you wanted to keep some of the folders in there like the 21 Jump Street one?
Me: errr...eh-heh-heh justkeepthat
DIDMHDOT: There are also a lot of .mp3s and video files...
Me: Yup keep it all. KEEP IT ALL

blah blah blah

It's not that I think it was humiliating...it's just...a HDD is like a diary now. Your photos are in your My Documents (which i copied over to my D:\) and I dont want him seeing photos of me out with friends ...friends and me smashed.....etc....

Now I have to run in, pay, and run out.

Oh and the same dude made some smartass comment yesterday in that store. For a while there yesterday I thought maybe ling and I had "be a smartass to us" written on our foreheads.
I'll give you two incidents:

#1: computer store for D:\

Whats wrong with your HDD?
Umm...it's not working because it says the data is corrupted and/or it can't read the files inside
Is it making sounds?
Not really, just the normal whirring
So no strange sounds?
No.
I think it's a virus.
Ummm...it's a seperate HDD and would my other HDD be infected too then?
hur hur I dunna
....
Did you try and get the data of it?
yes
Did you really try
....YES?
oh I meant do you want us to try?
....YES?

ASDSALFKJDSKL:FJGSGSJHLJK

#2: Ling buying Phonecard
Hi I'd like to buy a Pacific net card?
Ok
*passes $10 card
Is this the highest denomination you have?
yes
--some other guy in the store-- Haha I can sell you a higher one but it'd be dodgy
.....

ASLDKJ:LFGJDSKLJHRHEL:FS

2007-04-12T12:55:00.000+10:00

OTAKU!!

that's a phrase/word I learnt from Sweetass when I got more than a little obsessed with an anime character named Maximillian Genius (or whatever). He had green hair. Needless to say, I managed to ween myself of that obsession. It's now about the 300 MEN in 300 *droool.

Right.

I was doing the usual rounds this morning when I found this:

These Japanese cosplayers (anime constume hobbyists) gathered for a flashmobby synchronized dance-routine in the middle of Akihabara, Tokyo's nerd-mecca.

Man...they should do stuff like this here. I'm sure this flashmob phenomena isn't too high tech for this country. I can see it getting hijacked by ad companies though. 100 people walk into the intersection of Bourke and Swanston and all open a can of VB and sit on the ground. Wearing OH&S vests. And leaning on shovels. People will just think its the council workers again.

In other tech news....

I've managed to royally fuck up my desktop. All that bitching about it and telling it to burn didnt help. My poor wizard is naked, lying sideways on my floor. It's cover on the floor next to it, it's insides exposed to the world.

My D:\ is in the shop getting its data retreived for $65 bucks. *sigh*
I need to go out to buy a new power supply because my current 350Watt power supply is not enough to power my new grahpics card. Im going up to 450Watt which could be marginal for alot of geeks out there but It's not like my computer can make me breakfast ...although I wouldnt mind it just showing me pictures of breakfast. Then maybe I'll get into the habit of making breakfast for myself instead of just passing it off.

Im heartbroken over my White Wizard. :( come back to meeee!!

2007-04-05T20:29:00.000+10:00

Parents. Must love them. Must. Must must must.

When do you stop being the eager child awaiting your father's return from work to the apprehensive 24 year old who knows that there is a helluva lot of preparation required when expecting parents.

For example.

I was under the impression that my parents were arriving tomorrow. Last night they told me today. I was also under the impression that they were arriving at 10pm AEST today. But my father just called me to let me know that he has arrived...well...NOW. It's only 8:30pm.

I knew they were going to spring me. I so knew it. And yet, I did nothing. Luckily my biatches around the house (read: K2 and JM) cleaned while I desperately pastiched together some kind of concept for my interim submission today.

Repeat:
I love my parents.
I can't wait for them to come and make tea and give mini sandwiches.
I love my parents.

I suppose I've begun to question myself a little. Why do I sometimes think of them as a burden when they come down when I miss them when they are in BKK? Perhaps we've just been living apart for too long. I mean, even my mother says that I "disrupt" her pace of life when I'm in BKK. First, I took offense. Now, I can see why. It's not that they are the thorn in my side, but rather that you get used to conversations onthe phone, not face to face. you get used to coming home, popping a fag in your mouth while pouring a nice big glass of wine and turning on the telly and not even thinking about dinner or the next hour. All of this in complete and utter silence. Ahhhh the day is over...ahhh I can unzip and let my blubber flow out...ahhh i can cuss all i want.

Parents make you feel like you have to be responsible. That way, they'll feel like they've acheived something and you'll feel like you've learnt something. My father has this notion that because I'm a "designer" I should have this immaculate house. You know, the ones you see in those Poliform ads. Last night Elly and I were talking and we decided that you'd either have to be a) really loaded or b) really boring to have one of those Poliform houses. I leant more to option A because surprisingly, joinery is REALLY expensive!! Elly was more inclined to B citing a time when she went to "some finance related couple"s house and it was like a Poliform ad.
Anyway...my father doesn't understand that although yes, I may specify these awesome clinical spaces it doesnt mean I actually live in one?? My house is a collection of dog smells, cigarette ash, a little essential oil and cooking smells. It looks like this odd attempt and being "neat" and "functional" but immediately my desk gives it all away with all the bits and bobs everywhere.

NO! don't throw away that 1cmx10cm piece of plywood!! I MIGHT NEED IT!
NO! don't throw away that piece of paper!! I MIGHT NEED IT!
NO! don't throw away that bunch of cigarette butts!! I MIGHT NEED IT!

And oh...don't worry about those glasses, I'll clean them laterrrrrrr....slurrrr slurrr snore

Parents don't tolerate that kind of behaviour.

I'm 23 goin on 24 and I am still, even to this day, petrified of my parents. Ok. Not my mother, my father. It's like that old saying by chris rock:
"I'ma tell your daddy!"

2007-04-05T13:11:00.000+10:00

Well, its been a while since I blogged.

Long story short, there is absolutely nothing going on in my life.

Ok. So I lie.
To cram everything in from what I can remember:

Excellent droolworthy chicken rice made my Bryan. Got really drunk at said chicken rice dinner. Thankyou very much Ally. Decided I really need to get cable. Parents coming down tonight. Surprise. Went to Caroline's exhibition on Lygon. Bought 3 pieces from her collection. Decided Daisy is genetically predisposed to being an excellent designer due to Caroline's exhibition. Feminism is about allowing women the right to determine their own lives (aka no more hating on bimbos). Remus called and miscommunication led me to think a policeman from East Melbourne Station was asking me out for a drink. Watching 300 tomorrow at Imax. Watched Hot Fuzz on Date Night and laughed until my abdomen hurt. Spent 3 days chuckling to myself over scenes. BY THE POWER OF GREYSKULL!

Basically that's all that happened.
Dream wise...totally different story.

Ling and I are hired killers that had to dismember someone in the cold. Jet's parents got in an argument with an old man and the gaurd at their moo baan shot the guy (and missed). DTAC is going under (thankyou VERY much thaksin). UCC (juice company) is investing in property. Emporium now serves strawberries with custard.

Basically I miss Bangkok and I am dying for date night tomorrow with Ling.

Full Stop.

Oh, yeah. Ally, I was extremely hung over the next day.

2007-03-21T17:52:00.000+11:00

Wow I have just spent the better part of an afternoon really thinking about what I want to acheive this semester with design.

Now, it's not a wow concept that reaches a point of zen, but it's based on John Brack's (no relation to Steve-o) idea of Purity in Line, Colour, and Shape. John Brack was a painter, so obviously there are some differences but then...are the differences too wide to be reconciled? I thought not.

Not that architecture is painting but rather that it can learn from paintings. Composition, perspective, colour, etc etc.

I was searching for the Designer behind all the Ghost Furniture and finally found her. Di Overton and her blog is in the Design Me A Life section. She doesn't go ON and ON about ghost but has little posts about lovely items that she finds in markets and I can't wait to see what she releases next.

Yeah. There's no point to this post because it's just a mental note for me when I get lost in the woods later on in the semester.

2007-03-19T13:31:00.000+11:00

There's an old saying for the party harders around the world :

"They would go to a door opening"

And...because I'm grumpy and feeling a little bit spiteful that I can't possible build a bridge where I'd like to this semseter....
Clap clap Sydney.

"Hundreds of thousands walk across the bridge"....and presumably drive back through the tunnel.

You can't even get that many people for a worthy cause but you can get hundreds of thousands to walk over a bridge...not in the name of "bridging divides between people" but ....in the name of a bridge.

'Tis Ridicularrrrrs

2007-03-17T13:56:00.000+11:00

Although I'm still going through Patterns in Art, Artchitecture and Design....
I came across this book a few months ago: "Material World 2: Innovative Materials for Architecture and Design.
Of course, the cover catches your eye straight away because it's pretty clear about what it contains. Materials, for Architecture and Design. Sometimes it works to have a really ambiguous title like "7" which is a book about the winners and runners up in the Australian advertising awards. Advertising and Graphics books can get away with it.

This is one my favourite products. It's been around for I would guess longer than 3 years because it was used in the Issey Miyake store in NYC. It is such a simple idea, and yet it changes everything about "windows are the eyes of a building". Now you see it, now you don't. I've already got its use for my little project this semester. It'd also be great as a bit of a feature wall/divider if you had a big warehouse apartment. Big and white filled apartment. mmmm...*drool*.....
Oh yeah, it's called LCF

This one is called TCP and it's a pretty simple idea again. Wood, which has the natural property of hardness, is reworked as a veneer over a soft backing. I think there is some delight to be had when you see a rather stiff wood bench that you decide to sit on despite your bum's protestations and it's actually soft! It's already been used in furniture design (of course) and mannn...It'd been amazing to take some of the famous wooden furniture and make it out of this. Mackintosh chairs made out of soft wood. *sigh*

Man...I could get really carried away.

Basically, after looking through this book with tags ready, I realised that I couldn't tag it because it would mean tagging most of the pages. There are some really amazing technologies out there like this thin film that emits heat when a current is flowed through it. But I'm not so good with electricity. There's another one which is liquid metal. It's not mercury so you won't get all those funky poisonings that come after touching it. Unlike mercury, it has a high chrome finish.

What else was there....lycra and poly-somethingorother which has been impregnated with silver making it look like liquid silver which you could say...drape over yourself. Of course, It would be more appropriate over someone who has a tight and lithe body like....Christian Bale. *hehehehe*

ok enough procrastination. It's back to window extrusions for me. *yay*

2007-03-17T12:45:00.000+11:00

Feeling a little bored?
Well, pick up a pen and a piece of paper and write a letter to Heinz or Coles and complain about their slipping standards.

Before you brace yourself for a rant, this one is important!
I give you: HEINZ BIG N CHUNKY SOUP in SPICE SALAMI, BACON & PASTA

arguably the best soup in a can.
Apologies for the crap image but being me, i thought "Hey! I'll just scan the can!"
*bangs head on desk*

So it's a little blurry and I've made it worse by putting a photoshop filter on it. But you get the general "feel" for what it looks like.

Usually, I don't like chunky soups because they are too gummy or just fake. This soup is different. It's thick in texture but not starchy (even with the pasta) the pasta is soft and has all the flavour of the soup in it. The little bits of spicy salami have enough heat to add to the temperature of the soup, making it the ULTIMATE comfort soup when you can't be bothered.

This isn't like a nigella warm duck salad which is "comfort food" when you just "want to stay in". I have no intention of touching poultry when I'm in the I-have-cramps mood. Nigella doesn't get cramps because shes a godess.

Anyway, I'm hoping that it's just the Coles in richmond that has deserted me and not the whole of heinz.

I think i give all products a kiss of death when I really get into them. I really liked San Remo's Ziti pasta which is basically like really long penne without the ribs on the side. Its sooo good in pasta bakes because it takes in all the sauce. Anyway. That's discontinued too.

There's the Pedigree doggy gravy which you can drizzle over your dogs' food without giving them the extra pounds while making them actually want to eat that 100 proteins and vitamins stuff you've been guilted into buying for them. Nutritionally, I think my dogs eat better than I do. Too bad they have to eat that carboard stuff everyday to do so. Pedigree doggy gravy is also discontinued.

Then there's the Thin Cut Bacon by Castlemaine which is also discontinued. I've rifled through the cold meats section of Coles and Safeway looking for the beautiful packet of slivered Bacon which fries and curls up in a gold brownish pinkish (sometimes blackish if i overdo it) crispy bacon bite.

There is also San Remo's Spinach spaghetti which used to be on shelves in QV but was - again- discontinued. Fortunately it's stocked in the Richmond supermarkets. I used to buy about 5 packs at a time. Until I bought by pasta maker and frankly, everything else pales in comparison.
I should have known that I'd be cursed with the food product "kiss of death" since high school. I used to love these Allen's "tiny tots" jujubes which look like the chinese one but are sort of a conehead shape. The greatest thing about them, they are mini! Tiny Tots were the size of ...1/3 a small red chilli. They were coated in that lovely fine sugar and came in all sorts of wonderful colours. In a jar, they loooked like sparkling sugar jewels. Ready to be consumed by the 100s.
Alas, also discontinued.

So, I think I will join the ranks of the grumpy spinster and concerned parent when I write to Heinz/Coles to ask them why, Oh GOD, why (??!!!!) they have decided to discontinue the Spicy Salami, Bacon and Pasta Chunky Soup.

2007-03-13T12:31:00.000+11:00

Having a voice is as great thing. Having the right to express your views (mo matter how absurd) is a great thing. I'm probably guilty of saying "anti-christ-esque" things once in a while (probably in jest but still the same)....

Sometimes people just make a statement for the sake of making a statement. Hell, my faculty is full of them. There are people who walk around with massive red badges on them. Massive as in, could be a tea saucer massive. People who wear the coolest of the cool cool "so big in sweden" designers. All in an attempt for making a statement. That's all part of self expression right? self determination, right? People, like myself, who dorkishly layer black on black with fabrics that gather/zip/fold/velcro/swathe/loop over us.

I was on the BBC today and saw a story about a Swiss immigrant to Thailand who had been going about defacing posters in Bangkok...is the story in the defacing? No, it's in the fact that he defaced posters with the Kings face.

The guy is about 50 at least. Hell I'm an immigrant to Thailand. My parents are immigrants really. I suppose the label expatriate sounds a lot better, but I think I've changed the way I've thought about things in the last few years. If you're of caucasian background and you move to an Asian country you are an expatriate....if you are of asian background and you move to a western nation you are an immigrant. I don't want to wax semantics here...but isn't that the case? Even if both arrived in said countries with the same amount of money...the labels stay the same.

I've digressed!

I guess what's I'm trying to say is I find it disgusting that a Swiss national would deface pictures of the King. Switzerland is a great place...or so I've heard...but what gives anyone the right to step into someone elses culture and give it such a base critique. What's wrong with the King of Thailand? Find me even 3 things and I'll take everything back. The King of Thailand is not up for satire and parody like the Queen of England. He is not a defunct head of state much like the Monarchy of Monaco...and definitely comes from greater history. So what possessed this man to do this. I supposed I'm outraged because I've come to really admire the King and the Queen of Thailand. I probaby do so in greater amounts than the Queen of England.

It's not a whimsy...I didn't decide this because I felt that the King of Thailand was more fashionable, He does great things for the people of thailand....i.e his work for agriculture practices. Sheesh...I'd be amazed if little John decided to pull his socks up and go out to the drought stricken farms in AUstralia and start thinking about new ways to irrigate land.

Thailand has come under a fair bit of scrutiny since the Coup but that doesn't mean it's up for criticism. Is it so bad to ban criticisms of the King? If he was a despot, or an Enlightened Despot I still wouldn't budge.

I am so irritated by this. I don't even know why really. I just am.

2007-03-09T16:55:00.000+11:00

I have come up for air in my little time off from blogging to read other blogs and websites. And my, have I been busy.

I suppose I'll start by referring to this article that I found at Techdirt:

There have been numerous stories recently about people converting their cars to run on leftover vegetable oil from restaurant kitchens. Many restaurants need to get rid of that oil anyway, and are more than happy to give it away for nothing or next to nothing (though, obviously that would change as demand grows). While this seems like a great example of one way that people can help take a step away from the oil addiction the government is apparently afraid of, it seems that (oops) the government isn't going to make it very easy for people.

Of course this is not something that has happened here but it's funny how during all this talk of a "global crisis" that is climate change that stories like these don't make it to at lesat page 5 of the newspaper or even as a nice endshot for a news program.

Is it just me, or are things becoming more and more bizarre by the day?
I suppose this would be expected from the types of government that won't admit that humans may - just may - have had an impact on the environment to cause what we see today.

I suppose I'm just surprised to read this. I mean people are asking for a change, a way to move away from our dependence on oil...and here is one...a mighty tasty one too....

I wonder if your car overheats...can you do tempura in your gas tank? Or fries...ohh man...a deep fryer with wheels....*drool*

On a lighter note:

HOW COOL ARE THESE SOCKS????!!!!

Man...just when I thought i had rolled up my knitting needles for the rest of the month i find this pattern which is free!!

Eeek!

I just think they would be amazing for winter because I dunno, it's hard to find chunky socks these days that aren't meant for hiking.

Furthermore...IT HAS A SPACE INVADER PATTERN

that just opens up so many possibilities to do with knitting scarves or whatnot with this pattern which is nicely dissected into parts so that you can either do the aliens or the guns...or even the dotmatrix style high score chart.

Ok. This is my new obsession. Nevermind the sewing for now...I will go out and buy some wool and make this thing happen.

I will post to let you know how badly i did. (I only know Knit and Purl) sooo....yeah....this should be "interesting" at least.

2007-03-06T01:35:00.000+11:00

I am not insane.

Not a completely earth shattering confession but I have this thing about feet when I go to sleep. I like to rub them together. It's a thing.

I can't sleep for some reason so, naturally, I googled "sleep techniques". I got this from this website:

Toe Wiggling

A relaxed body is essential for a sound sleep. This may sound like we're contradicting what we just said about our minds keeping us awake, but it's no contradiction. Eastern sciences (such as yoga) have known for thousands of years that the mind and body are connected (actually they're not just connected, they're one, but the idea that they're connected is sufficient for our purposes here.) So if the mind is not relaxed, the body is not relaxed. Conversely, the body has to be relaxed for the mind to be relaxed. It's a package deal.
So how do you relax your body? We've already mentioned milk, herbal teas, exercise, and avoiding caffeine. But there are techniques you can do directly with your body. Toe Wiggling is one of them.
Lie on your back (where you should be in the first place) and wiggle your toes up and down 12 times, wiggling the toes of both feet at the same time. This will relax your entire body, inside and out.
How does it work? According to the science of Reflexology -- which has been around in other cultures for thousands of years -- your feet are a kind of master control panel for the rest of your body. "Meridians" in the body -- which are those channels of energy treated by acupuncture -- end up in the feet. So the ends of those meridians in your feet connect with every organ and every part of your entire body.
When you wiggle your toes, you are stimulating -- and thus relaxing -- your entire body. (Incidentally, this is a good place to mention that you can be energized and relaxed at the same time. It's a matter of the quality of that energy. If it flows freely and smoothly, you will be relaxed. If the energy flow in your body is restricted or blocked, you will be tense. And toe wiggling helps to bring about a relaxing, free-flowing energy.)
Note: This same exercise is also great first thing in the morning before getting out of bed in order to energize the body.

Hahahahahahahhahahaha

2007-03-01T15:57:00.000+11:00

I fashion myself to be a bit of an artist. Someone who isn't totally concerned with the workings of economies and money. But, for some odd reason, I'm really fascinated with the way it all works. I think its remarkable that people can sit around and trade "shares" (said in Dr. Evil tone) on the "stock market" and gain or lose a helluva lot of money. Where does this money get produced from?

How does one suddenly gain $10k just by doing some wise transactions between firms who are in offices which you may never have worked or set foot in. Like do these money growing firms have worker bees printing money or making actual products which can be bought and sold?

What factors contribute to this share market which is both local and international? Afterall, I can invest in shares of Bermuda Shorts Co. in Bermuda without actually having visited Bermuda, nor worn bermuda shorts. Wait. Maybe I have...a ha! that must be how they make their money.

But you see? I could only come up with shorts when I thought of a company. A consumable product. I can touch it, wear it, feel strangely daggy in it...but it still exists.

Yesterday stock markets slumped. There was a little bit of concern I suppose. JM came home for lunch and was saying he should buy shares. Now. Everyone is free to correct me and tell me how it actually works, because I want to know.

I thought people sold when they knew or had the inkling that something was going to happen which would adversely affect their shares. For example, Shell Oil refineries being hijacked by Nigerian criminals (Or heroes, depending on how much you like Shell). I suppose the share price may have dropped like .1% because it may halt oil production therefore sales. But people usually sell prior to these things happening right? Or is that "insider trading"?

So say that stock markets slump. Isnt' that because people are selling, not buying? Selling and thus the influx of people selling makes other people lose confidence and then they sell, then you get a whole bunch of shares which are left out all alone in the cold and so value of companies associated with orphaned shares depreciate.

So if everyone is selling, why buy? I see words like "robust" and "recover" as if the share market is some kind of warrior of capitalism who takes a right hook to the jaw but shakes it off after a minor concussion. So you buy when it's low. There is a scramble to both buy and sell. Websites get jammed. Investigations ensue a la Westpac and Commsec. Or is it Commmsec? Too many "m"s.

So people rely and prey upon the weakness or "loss of confidence" in a particular market.

I still don't get it. The Chinese market slumped. OK. I get that. Share prices of companies fall. People sell. Now...who decides that these companies' values are depreciating? Is there some kind of guru who sits at the back and says "You know what, I think your company is worth 10% less than what I valued it yesterday. Yes, you heard me...only 12 hours ago." What can make a company depreciate at all? Staff cuts? Too many executive First Class tickets? How does it depreciate?

Is it like dumping wheat into the middle of the ocean like the US to make sure that wheat prices don't fall too much due to an oversupply?

Here's the bit that I find a little odd. If people are scrambling to get out of company A because it's falling...but then company B is falling and the share price has fallen too....and seeing as people generally seem to take the "robust"-ness and "recovery"-ness of the market seriously...I would invest into Company B while the getting is good. A surge in people buying company Bs stock would push the value of Company B up thus saving it from the ruin of Company A.

Company A isn't the only company though...there is Company Z. So defectors from the Z camp could invest into the A camp. Unless like I said perhaps Company A has got a VW scale problem on its hands because of its senior staff. You know, toga parties and the like.

Or is there something more sinister at hand? You know, lower it a little so that it can hit a record high very quickly with all the A-Z transactions going on? But I suppose that would mean that some people had indeed lost a fair bit of money. You might get some people who like to ride it out...some people that flee and cut their losses...some people that like to try and preempt it and end up like Martha Stewart...and then some peoplpe who glide along like pond skaters and make do for themselves very well...
But at the end of that day they are all pirates! *ha ha I couldn't resist.

I suppose I still don't understand it. It's a good thing I wasn't smart enough to get into commerce or else I'd probably still be in uni drawing Mr. Squiggle lines on my exam papers waiting for the first 1 hour to be up. Well, to be fair I know how to write my name and student number on the exam booklet.

2007-02-25T13:03:00.000+11:00

Ever have those bizzarro dreams that you wake up from and you're kinda still angry?

I had this crazy, crazy dream last night. SUMF was there with his friend Kai ping and another girl that I had gone to school with in BPS - Michelle. It was very bizzare. Something to do with a doll or something. And for some reason all three of these people were in my apartment. Something happened and I got really pissed off and picked up three remote controls. One of which was like this security system, the other was a home locking thing, ad something else. Urgh it's all so blurry now because I tried to sleep it off.

Then for some reason i was surfing the net in my dreams (how saaaaddd) and found Sookie's blog only to find that she'd written this really wierd expose on my life about how JM smoked or something. Before I decided to do a massive rebuttal on my blog I woke up.

It was so weird. I felt like I was being attacked in my dreams. By two totally random people.

Random in that I don't think we'd ever have a full on altercation like I had in my dream? Am I harbouring feelings of resentment? NO. So why did i dream it. It was so incredibly vivid like everything that had happened really did happen and i was merely dreaming about something that had already happened.

Now I'm all tired and grumpy from my dream.
BAH

oh..and...AND...

There was also an old couple, old like you know, 40. And the woman was in hospital and she had given birth years ago to this child. And she was sort of this glamourous 40s woman who was obviously now in the 00s and she was telling me about her past life when she was younger. Something about a man who she had a second child with *who wasn't her husband* and he was currently in court because something had happened to the child. For some reason we had gotten onto the topic of hair. And i really wanted to have the 40s kinda curly hair that's sort of in tight scrolls. Anyway...she told me that sleeping with curlers in wasn't as sucessfull as using curling tongs.

Oh and the court records were being written in a mixture of english and "oxfordian" which was basically like english but like Ye olde english but with this super-hard-to-read handwriting that looked like calligraphy.

2007-02-24T17:16:00.000+11:00

After a rocky ride last on thursday (refer to emo post) I spoke to my boss about what I should do, and where I was going with my degree. I suppose I look up to him because he seems fulfilled. Perhaps not in the office going-ons but because he has an "on the side" firm which does some pretty amazing work in Singapore. I asked him about what he thought I should do in the future after graduation. He said "One year away, is a long, long time".

Uh huh.

That's what I thought last year and look! we are in 2007.

He said I should go to a smaller firm. Learn the ins and outs of small offices but most importantly, get the full gamut of experience. Detailing, liasing with clients, going on site, learning about construction techniques, etc. Things that I, perhaps, wouldn't learn in a bigger office which was more concerned with large projects and churning out the work.

In a lot of ways I was dissapointed. I wanted to hear that big firms were excellent growing grounds for budding designers. Of course, deep down inside I knew it wasn't true. I need to be somewhere that I can learn everything. Be challenged by things that I perhaps don't want to be challenged in (see: detailing buildings) things that I would need to learn to become a better designer.

I told him that I wanted to dabble in costume design, set design, theatre design, grahpic design, etc...all to which he found *i think* a little subset to architecture. He said I should stay in architecture and take the landscape part as an additive. A thing to make me a better designer, a realm which I could enter as and when I pleased because it wouldn't be that way if I got locked into landscape architecture. I hated hearing that part I suppose.

All the naive notions that I could just jump across or have one finger in each pie. He said that it was like having one foot in one boat and the other in another boat. Eventually i will fall off one. for some reason I imagined sampans. You know those fishing boats...really unstable either way. The kind of structure that is used under catamarines or water landing boats.

ANYWAY...so it was good to hear it from a fresh perspective. So I suppose it's time to think about moving on. No more security! Eeekk!

2007-02-22T18:18:00.000+11:00

you know when you just have those days. Those days. The ones where you finish up and you feel like you don't know where everything is going anymore?

Now, my moment today wasn't really about life as such. More to do with work and less to do with life. The grass is pretty green where I am personally and emotionally so I'm not feeling like any drastic changes. I suppose my migraine only exacerbated matters but I was at work.

Long story short, it only became too clear to me that I had a serious miscalculation with my workplace. I suppose the multidisciplinary environment is always so alluring when you're in any sort of design career. I suppose I thought that the place that I had chosen to work would be like that. Oh...me thinks I was wrong.

We had a little guest crit today and at one point it felt like all the divisions in the office had becoming painfully clear to everyone. Well, everyone in architecture anyway. I suppose interiors and landscape knew it...and I suppose everyone knew it. But I'd never seen the principals have it out. They didn't really have it out as such. There were no fisticuffs. But it felt so pointed and sharp. I didn't really know what I was doing there anymore. I'm still studying. And I suppose that's a good thing right? A time in life when you can still move around with relative freedom when it comes to your career.

Have I been too insecure about being unable to get a job at another place?

I would think so. I think I need to get more landscape experience. And it has only become too clear in my day to day work that once you're in architecture, you are...like, so in.

Not like i'd be much help in landscape anyway...not to the capacity of having an associate on board who had experience in both. And I don't aspire to be seen in that manner, but I'm clearly not going to be able to confidently say that I'm learning about the two sides of my education at that office.

*sigh*

I hate change. And I suppose I can see why now. It forces you to understand what you've done wrong in the past and forces you to think about how you're going to amend them because things don't just "go away" magically.

2007-02-19T17:41:00.000+11:00

Yesterday I was happily playing warcraft by myself while my brother watched the appendices to the LOTR set.

Out of nowhere my computer starts to jerk a little. I figure it's because my Orc army is just so incredibly overwhelming that even my computer is scared of an invasion. *hardee har har!

Just as I'm about to kick some serious Elf ass my computer dies. Like frozen screen unable to alt+tab and unable to ctrl+alt+del.

Of course I wail out something unintelligible to my brother who strolls over and basically says:

"ah. that's odd"

This is what I see a few seconds later on my monitor:Just a command line (which doesn't take commands) on a black screen.

I think it's a sign that I have to reformat. I'm not sure why though seeing as I haven't really been "pushing" it lately, nor have I installed anything new.
I've come to the conclusion that it is dying. And it hasn't even had the courtesy of telling me that it needed to be reformatted. Instead, it's just dying on me without my consent. The white wizard (that's what i called it) knows i depend on it. Nay, need it.

So this is the message to my computer,

Love,
Me

2007-02-19T17:11:00.000+11:00

Just finished the Built By Wendy long sleeved top. I'm yet to wash and take a photo of the short sleeved one because I wore it pretty much the day after I finished it!It doesn't have gathered cuffs althoug the photo looks like that. But I really like the gatherings on the sleeves. It's hard to see but the lower portion of the sleeves are on an angle so the stripes aren't going vertically down the lower arm.

I also just discovered the button sewing foot on my machine. All this time I've been jabbing myself with a needle trying to sew on multiple buttons. *ahh sweet sweet technology*

2007-02-19T13:25:00.000+11:00

I found this pattern online and it looked really daggy in pink, but as I've learnt, one has to look past the bright flourescent pink fabric and the strangely 80s model and at the pattern itself.

This pattern is a morrocon sun dress (apparently) and it doubles up as all the above things. I have no idea how it gets from a dress to a top, but that's not my concern really, I just like the idea of it being this loose fitting blanket that I can sweep over myself or unravel as the weather changes.

I'm still waiting on my Built By Wendy patterns which feel like they are taking forever to arrive...but when I do I shall go on a sewing blitz with lots of photos. *yay*

2007-02-19T12:51:00.000+11:00

I HATE OPTUS.

I have been through the hoops and looks like for the new year of 2007 they decided it would be a brilliant idea to make thier customer help line fully automated that doesnt even register many problems which may arise. In my case, just not getting bills from them.

Then they ask you for a customer number. I wouldn't know seeing as I HAVEN"T RECIEVED A BILL IN OVER A YEAR.

Ok. So I could have possibly maybe looked inside my folder but I just needed to speak to someone not some machine that is asking me shit like "what are you calling about today?"
gee...I called for a chat. I felt lonely. And I thought it would be fun to talk to a robotic sounding woman who says "Oh" instead of "Zero" for "0".

Now I'm listening to thier new catchy tune that is all about "give me the simple life".
Oh because being on hold over a problem which I have had for numerous months now is something very simple.

I think I have blogged about this before. I should make a special section just for Customer Service. I don't expect the communications minister to fix my problem.

Simple life. HAH.

2007-02-18T22:22:00.000+11:00

I've also been sewing during my time off and I haven't taken photos of the other stuff that I've done but here's a little of what I've been doing as a wannabe seamstress:I've had this black and white fabric for about 1 year now. I bought it off ebay and it was just sitting there and there wasn't really much I could do to it because there wasn't much of it. So last week I decided that I would make them into cushion covers.

I made this blouse because I thought it'd be cute...I'm yet to wear it because I just haven't been in a flouncy kind of mood lately. but I will eventually wear it. Eventually. I spent way too mcuh time on it to ditch it at the back of my wardrobe!

So that's all I've been up to. *yawn*

2007-02-18T21:31:00.000+11:00

Yesterday, as either an inintended stroke of genius or sheer foolishness I decided that it'd be a great thing to head down to the sidney myer music bowl and go watch the mso free concerts.

To sum it up, it was a great performance, but the only big drawback was the heat! It was searing hot. 38 degrees is not comfortable in any circumstance unless you are at home. We guzzled the water and wine in minutes. We packed tid bits and munched on them while we talked and listened to the music.

All in all, a very satisfying day:
The domain when things had cooled down....so many people there it almost made me feel better that I wasn't the only loony tune out there watching. HA! Looney tune! I'm so cheesy.
My brother was under his "parasol" while I sweated it out with elly and nick. All four of us are so pale and it was almost tempting fate by going out in that heat. I slathered up in SPF 30 sunscreen but I'm pretty sure I sweated it all away within the first 2 hours of being there. Luckily I'm not burnt at all.
and like any good outdoor event...it was punctuated with fireworks. I'm a sucker for fireworks. I could watch grass growing as an art if there was free fireworks after!

2007-02-14T00:42:00.000+11:00

I am incapbale of making the smooth transistion from being teen to a twenty something. I think I went from 21 on to 45.

A crabby old woman who gets cranky past 10pm.

cranky.
I love that word.

2007-02-11T17:33:00.000+11:00

"You can't stop the signal, Mal"

2007-02-06T04:55:00.000+11:00

It's strange how love..."love"...changes over the years. I found all this stuff from my highschool days while I was cleaning out the stuff in my house and I couldn't resist reminiscing over it. A part of me abmonished me for looking into something that I really couldn't relive or change.

Don't get me wrong, there is very little I would change about highschool if I had the chance, but still, there is something so incredibly "teen" about it. You know, the sleepovers, the drama that you swear you will never recover from (but you do), break ups, fights, letters, hobbies of days gone by...embarassing memories that you still blush over sometimes.

Then there's love. Love back then seemed so much more simple. Maybe because it was simple aka base. There really wasn't much to it. You saw a guy, thought he was cute, maybe he sneaks a smile at you in class (or in my case, stoned grimace) and all of a sudden you are writing his name down in your workbook and whispering to your friends about it.

Being in highschool was like being perpetually smittened.

Love was so much simpler. It was just "you and me" and that's it. Baz Luhrmanns "Romeo and Juliet" had come out and Leonardo di Caprio was immediately the girls' dream man. You know, the scene with the armour while Clare Danes is in that dress with wings? yeah. That scene.

Everything was just simpler. And alot more intense. Looking back at it is very much like looking through a Sparklevision lens. Everything is misty and dazzling. Even the most banal of memories can seem so special; like looking forward to getting your bags from your locker because his locker is just round the corner.

I suppose it's just an emo thing to look back at now. Especially when you can't figure out what went wrong in your relationship to make it the way it is today...you can't help but look back and wish you could just cocoon yourself in what used to be. When dates were proper dates, when conversation was superficial but still so entertaining, when walking along empty streets seemed like the most romantic thing in the world.

I suppose the other allure of highschool is that "forever" didn't have the same crashing implications that it does today. I don't know about anyone else but I thought forever would be something I'd jump into. No, bomb into - legs up, hands on nose, and the other arm waving about enthusiastically to onlookers before you splash in. Back then forever was a word in a song, something foolishly writted after two names...but there was nothing really honest about it.

There was nothing about the "oh so boring I want to stab myself in the head" days nor the days when you loathe that person so much that you want to either throw them (or yourself) off a building. Nothing about screaming fights...or worse still, the silence that you'd have to go through.

Oh listen to me I'm so jaded. Boo Hoo. But I'm not jaded, just wondering where things changed. When did we all grow up? Am I the only one that is completely jarred by the realisation that perhaps high school love never comes around again? Actually...maybe it does. In a nursing home. You know, when you can cast all your baggage away and just have fun because you know your days are numbered.

The other night myself and my dear partner said some things that really hurt and stuck to me. I think he's forgotten about it...or rather just reduced it to silence. Like everything else that happens in our relationship that needs to be addressed, it becomes boiled down and turned into a sort of problem jus. Best consumed in silence.

Here's the worst part. I got accosted, yes, ACCOSTED by one of his friends at a wedding I went to recently and was promptly reduced to tears. Not by the accost-er but rather by the realisation that I am in a bit of a tangle. Rightly so seeing as I can barely express what it is that I'm feeling that spurned on the break up last year to what is happening now. It's an odd feeling being told that you are with "Mr. Perfecto-Great-Fantastic-Flawless" when you don't necessarily disagree with the fact that he is Mr. Perfecto-Great-Fantastic-Flawless, but rather that aside from all that jigoistic CRAP, it may be very possible that despite all of that greatness in his image it may be a different story when you put someone like me, together with him. And so far it's worked quite well. I'm not writing the eulogy of our relationship here...I'm merely saying that despite all the highschool fantastic-ness of it all...when we grow up you start to want more that fantastic-ness.

2007-02-05T13:50:00.000+11:00

Oh man. I have been cleaning all morning after not sleeping.

It's a very refreshing feeling although my hands feel like they are going to shrivel up and fall off with all the chemicals they have been soaked in.

I realised that I haven't filed stuff away that was supposed to filed away up to 3 years ago. How pathetic is that?! I'm looking at these papers like..."when did I do advanced urban planning , again?"
.....
THREE YEARS AGO

That's what happens when you buy In/Out trays. Everything just becomes In and Not Moving trays. They were stacked up to the top with paper. Oh oh...here's the best bit...I still have art papers from HIGH SCHOOL that I haven't filed away.

Things get moved from floors to plastic boxes. Plastic boxes to tabletops and from this angle you can barely see the top of my coffee table. Mini seems to be drowing in all the mess on the couch too.

And here's a good question...how the HELL did I manage to accumulate this many books? WTF? and it's on BOTH sides of the shelf. I know it's not that much it's a pain in the arse to keep track of and I've discovered all these other books that I have under all the rubbish and mess that I haven't seen in TWO YEARS. That's right. I bought this William Morris textiles book in 2004 and I only just found it last week.

Everything is going according to plan so far as long as I don't fall asleep I should be OK....but right after lunch, the task seems almost too daunting to do. I'm so tempted to turn on the air conditioning and just fall asleep in front of the tv as per usual.

2007-02-05T07:27:00.000+11:00

You know how you have those periods in your life that you wish you could just shake off? Like it's almost like shedding skin but nowhere near as poetic or natural. In fact, it feels thoroughly unnatural because you aren't sleeping normally and sure as hell aren't eating properly. It's not really something to be down about either. It's more like...suffocated...but indifferent to the fact that there isn't much air to breathe because you've gotten so used to the feeling of it.

1.1 and I spent about 1 week or so on my couch just bumming and going online. We talked until all hours of the night...ate all sorts of strange things...and became blobs on couches. 1.1 went and got a full time job (hooray!) and I just...sort of waded through the semester, finished and then kaput. I'm back on the couch again.

I remember she asked me this:
"You know that what we're doing isn't normal, right?"

I agreed at first but I'm not sure if I had really comes to grips about how abnormal it was until now. Think of it as a 3 month reflex.

Is there such a thing is "locational emotional attachment"?

There should be.

I feel like I need to rearrange the house, file bills, wipe things down, put up paintings where there were bare walls. Like I need to change everything on the inside of my house so that I'll muster up the courage to go out and you know, be NORMAL.

It's like being in self imposed hermit-ism. I haven't slept so just bare with me while I make up words. I'm quite happy at home and not leaving to see anyone or anything. I make these grand plans in my mind about how I'll go to the mafia fabric store...how i'll go and check out some patterns at clegs...how I'll finally give away all the clothing that I was supposed to give away about 3 years ago...

Talk about loose ends.

Speaking of which, any ideas as to what to make my blog background? Other than the sticky tape thing? I'm getting kind of sick of it.

2007-02-04T00:40:00.000+11:00

This morning I woke up at 4am after suffering a really bad bout of "too-much-drink-alot" after work.

I had a splitting headache everytime I moved but I couldn't go back to sleep so I opted for the lying on the couch with a slack jaw thing.
I was wathing xmen all morning until I heard some more sounds outside.
I cackled like a crazy woman because I thought it was that bloody construction site across the road...but wait...my troubles have doubled no thanks to the whinging...

Yeah thats what it looks like outside. It's huge! I knew cranes were big but I've never realy been up close at the 4th storey you know? I keep imagining doomsday scenarios where the crane comes crashing into my apt. I think I can sue, right?

They are starting to redevelop the old stock exchange building across the street. Yay! It won't be a total shithole after all. Perhaps. It's going to be a mix of residential and offices...so I'm thinking there'll be more neighbours/people on the street and that shitty lower floor will be lit up. *yay*

2007-02-02T00:48:00.000+11:00

I really have to stop going through the web. I've been looking for a new watch. A nice yellow plastic watch. Not one with a thin band, but one with a nice thick chunky bracelet-ey band. No sights of it yet. Although i did find one at this site:

The Naughty Secretary Club has this watch here that's like 22USD. Now, I'm not about to spend 2 grand on a yellow watch...but I suspect at 22 dollars it's not going to be waterproof or "me proof".

I was browsint through some more of the websites that I searched up and found This Next website. It has all these little things that you can buy at other stores and vendors online and it has little recommendations from people and I can't help but ooh and ahh over all the things in there. There's a couch set called "livingstones" which looks like a pile of pebbles from afar but it's just an assortment of different sized pebble shaped cushions that you can pile up and sit on like an array of bean bags!

But...the piece de resistance for me is this wallpaper by tracey Kendall:

I just think that it looks like a hundred white post it notes all stuck on a wall...it's so tactile. I just want to touch it, draw on it, fold it...I love it.

*sigh*
Why oh why did I find this website. There goes my plan to sleep before 1am. I'll try 2am. That'll give me 6 hours before I have to go to work. That's plenty of time right?

2007-02-01T19:07:00.000+11:00

I read this post in the IsoHunt (IT'S BACK!) forum yesterday. It's regarding this other forum member saying that the US would "pwn" Canada in a war...

from munky99999

defcomexperiment wrote:

munky99999 wrote:

ofcoarse Canada pwns both the USA and UK.

if you say so... i think the us would pwn the hell out of canada in a war...

Really??? lets see what happened last time when the USA was going to start a war with us.

You sent 500 soldiers into Canada/Britain. We captured and arrested all those 500 without any injuries on our side. We then counter attacked and burnt down your national capital.

Plus you'd have one hell of a war on your hands. As basically the entire UN would gang up on your ass. Plus I'd suspect you'd get quite the civil war on your hands also.

Canada and co. would conquer you.

Tell me you don't think that is the funniest picture you've seen in a while. I love the Mounties at the back. Oh, and the Canadian flag on 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue...it's something that would bring tears of joy and pride to HRH Elizabeth the Second.

2007-02-01T01:47:00.000+11:00

I haven't written anything about architecture. And forgive the pompous tone here...but this has to be the UGLIEST house I have ever seen in my life. A 1980s brick veneer cross with weatherboard has more charm than this.

I suppose the problem I have with it is that someone obviously paid a lot of money for it to be designed as such...and hired a good office too...so where do two attributes to designing a beautiful home....GO SO FRICKEN WRONG?

Even the pool is green. You can't even sustain clarity in this house. The water is poisoned in its presence. I'm going to go on a hunch here and say the owners would rather stay indoors and not have to relax in the beautiful pool and look up to see this atrocity that they paid for.

I probably couldn't design this house so kudos to the detailing on the inside (which is the only saving grace) of this house. But the outside...and just the way it looks. It's like someone thought they'd like to live in Federation Square by LAB crossed with Libeskinds Jewish Museum. How do you even live in there?! It's painful to look at. This is why VCAT was created...so neighbours could throw thier arms up in the air and scream bloody murder of thier streetscape.

Observe:

It's marginally flattering in this photo but I'm just not convinced that this is going to age like the Domain apartments by Robin Boyd or something. Look at it. It looks like two eyes and a mouth. Its trying to eat that tree. Chomp Chomp. Can you imagine using this film in a remake of "Poltergeist"? I can.

See how nice the interior is? I give three claps *clap clap clap* to the person who designed the inside. I say it like two people did this because it looks completely bipolar. If you're gonna have the whole LAB shard look then follow through on the interior. Go all out. But really, its quite a nice interior. The floors are really beautiful etc but still...it's like living in the tourist information building at Fed Square.

Im not sure about the green column but seeing as the exterior is so special, the column gets a pass. The furniture is nice...the lighting is nice..but then...WHYYYYY

Ok. Enough.

And if you think that I *may* be wrong about it...this....this....this....*acckk*....this...HOUSE is for sale.

The owner probably gave up trying to put up with his wife bitching about how she can't get good curtains for the place. It only has one car port too. So...it's like adding insult to injury. I mean...if say you want it for the "image" you'd probably want to have like a 10 car garage so you can be beyond reproach about your use of money.

I have the perfect scene for this house.
The colorbond ad from a while back with that guy that comes out of his house in his y fronts and gets distracted by the roof of his house. This cladding i *think* is also by colorbond and they could use this as a spoof ad. Like the guy comes out...holding his breakfast bar and coffee...
gets the paper off the front pavement
looks up and awe spreads across his face
ZOOM TO CLADDING
show the beautiful lines created while zooming out to reveal the eyes and the mouth of the beast-house
CUT TO MAN
awe turns to fear
fear turns into nausea
he runs back into his house screaming and crying
CUT TO REAL ESTATE SIGN SAYING "FOR SALE"

2007-02-01T00:44:00.000+11:00

I've been downloading free fonts from Urbanfonts.com and I've reached my daily limit. Darn it. So now I'm browsing through other websites. My brother tells me that you can pay for great fonts online as well. The trick is, I'm not willing to pay for a little bit of type. If I was a graphic designer, or maybe a person in advertising, I could see the value of paid fonts. Unfortunately I am a humble Architecture and Landscape Architecture student who still bitches about having to pay 600 dollars to get 8 A1s printed. BITCHES!

Ok. To be fair, I brought that upon myself by leaving my design up to the night before. Besides, Kinkos has that super nice semi gloss paper...mmm semi gloss. Such sweet sweet paper.

Ahem.

I also trolled through the net last night looking at celebrity gossip (it's a bad habit) and have decided that those celebrities who want to be in tabloids are in tabloids. The ones that don't want to aren't as often. Although, there are some pictures that should be shared. Like Liv Tyler with her baby during halloween last year in the little cow outfit. That should've been on Cute Overload. We're animals too right?

I found this coat:

My brother thinks it's a little bit out of proportion and daggy. I like daggy. I am daggy. I really like it. I like it because it has a hood and a cute little hip detail without being all "LOOK AT MY GARGANTUAN HIPS". It's kinda 1960s mod in a way. But if Gwyneth Paltrow is any indication, it's probably too expensive for me to buy.

I'm so glad I sew. I could always just mess around with calico first to see if I can make it...but I think I can. I'm confident. It probably won't be cashmere or whatever that coat is made out of. It'll have to be 100% Australian Wool. Not a bad compromise. Italian wool is like 60 bucks a meter at Clegs...and that coat will need abt 5m I would say...so ....300 dollars (excluding lining and interfacing)...I might as well just take it to a tailor to get it made.

I have all these projects already lined up. I have to finish my blouse (as sweetass reminded me today) and then get started on the rest of the Built by Wendy patterns. Urgh.

For those of you who are interested in sewing some clothes that aren't like something out of a 1980s nightmare...check out the Built by Wendy link in my "Design Me A Life" section.

2007-01-31T02:37:00.000+11:00

Ok.

Obligatory puppy post because my two bitches have been keeping me company at home while I clean up (you heard me) and shift stuff around...

When chloe came back from the kennel last year when JM went back to KL she was so ill. She had contracted kennel cough and the vet couldn't do anything but prescribe her lots of rest and a little cough medicine in her food. She was a different dog. For those of you that have met JM's ball crunching puppy...You can tell she's not feeling 100% because she let me get that close to her with a camera. She spent her days in her bed with a blanket around her. She barely moved, barely ate...*sigh*
Worried parents, we were. Worried parents.
Hounds smell. They have a particular smell about them. At times, I smell Chloe and I wonder how they can smell trace drugs when they stink like that. She's like a walking fart. She just stinks. And if she's just come back from a walk, she's like super fart. A fog follows her around...and legions of flies looking for the rotting flesh. I made up that last bit. No flies follow her.
So, there is a little dog spray called "Crisp Apple" that I bought from the pet store. It's what they sprayed her with when she was a puppy at that very same pet store. So, you'd think it would bring back fond memories of her brothers and sisters, right? She hates it. So instead of chasing her around the house with a little spray, I have put some into my Super Soaker so I can just stand around and shoot her at random. The photo above is her hiding underneath a chair giving me the *eyes*. FYI, the *eyes* don't work on me.
Mini has always liked sleeping inside laundry baskets. It's an odd habit because I used to use the very same laundry baskets upturned as a sort of makeshift "Puppy Prison" when she was a puppy and did something wrong. Mini is incredibly small. She really shouldn't be that small. But like I've said, I prayed that my puppy would be a puppy forever and she didn't grow. No complaints here. The thing is, because she's so small I just throw all my laundry onto the basket and then lo and behold, she is covered save for her tiny, adorable, heart melting, big watery puppy eyes, cute overload face.

Ok. I'm sick of talking about them. I just had those photos from a few weeks ago.

NEXT POST

2007-01-31T01:53:00.000+11:00

Ok. I have been moving my house around. And I got a little bored during the night and seeing as I couldn't sleep I decided to do a rough 3D model of what I wanted to do.
I opened up the "Martha Stewart" folder in my computer and took my apartment floorplans off it and started measuring up furniture and such to make my 3d model. Here are the results:I love it how in renders there's no clutter. No unsightly wires and dog hair everywhere. No unsightly dogs full stop :oP!

Don't hate on me because it's not perfect! It took me about 1 hour to make all the furniture and arrange it etc...so it's a little rough!

Seeing as my "day's worth" of blogs is going to be quite random I'll just split my entry into three!

**NOTE: I did actually move all my furniture around and it's lookin' good!

2007-01-30T01:40:00.000+11:00

Although I don't have one of those incredibly hot KitchenAids lying around my kitchen a la Nigella Lawson, I was inspired to make cupcakes thanks to that blog that I wrote about below.

I made this recipie from a website called "Kitchen Wench". I love that. Wench. What a lovely term. The recipe for the chocolate cupcakes is called "Devils Food Cupcakes" or some such and can be found here. For your convenience I am going to copy it into my blog for y'all to try:

Ingredients
225g self-raising flour
1/2 tsp baking powder
225g light brown sugar
225g unsalted butter, softened
2 eggs, seperated
125g plain dark chocolate, melted
25g dutch cocoa powder
1 tsp vanilla extract
115ml milk

Chocolate Buttercream Icing
115g unsalted butter, softened
1 tbsp milk
115g plain dark chocolate, melted
1 tsp vanilla extract
90g soft icing mixture, sieved

1. Preheat the oven to 175 degrees C and line a muffin tin with cupcake papers.

2. Sieve the flour and baking powder and set aside.

3. In a medium bowl, cream the sugar and butter. Add the egg yolks and beat well, then add the melted chocolate, cocoa powder and vanilla and beat till well combined. Add the milk and flour alternately, beating well with each addition.

4. Beat the egg whites in a medium bowl till soft peaks form, then gently fold 1/2 into the batter, adding the remaining 1/2 once incorporated.

5. Spoon 1 heaped tsp of batter into the cupcake cases and bake for 20 minutes or till a skewer inserted into the middle comes out clean and they bounce back when gently pressed. Remove tins from the oven and cool the cupcakes.

6. To make the icing, cream the butter and sugar, then add the milk and beat till smooth. Stir in the chocolate and vanilla, then beat in the icing sugar till the mixture is thick and creamy. Spread over the cupcakes with a knife/spatula, and decorate with a dusting of edible gold powder if you want to go all out

Here are some photos of my process:

Here you can see it takes me three large bowls to mix it together. Don't get carried away with the bowl-idge like i did.

The mixture is extremely rich so if you can be bothered, IF, you should probably not use an electric mixer because it doesn't really help in the early stages because there isn't alot of moisture in the beginning. Think lots of chocolate and butter. Not dry, but not wet enough for it to be easy to mix.

It finally loosens up after a while until the flour gets added and it goes back to this incredibly heavy and rich dough. I tasted it throughout. And I know some people get wierded out by the thought of eating "raw" egg but really, there's like two in there. So the probability of getting salmonella or whatever is slim. And yes. I use free range eggs. I blame you boobies for converting me :oP

Be generous in the cupcake trays because they don't rise much. I mean, they rise to a nice level but they aren't those extra fluffy cupcakes. These are chocolate-y, rich, dense, and sickeningly decadent cupcakes.

The mixture makes about 11 cupcakes in a large-ish tin. If you want mini ones I presume you could reasonably make 20 but you should probably make the cooking time more like 15 minutes rather than 20. There is so much icing...

This is the finished result after all the icing and half a slice of strawberry. It's really rich. And the icing I used is from the recipe and frankly, there is just too much love to go around. So be prepared for extra icing to lick clean off the bowl.

Let's just say that the recipe shouldn't be made for those of you who are on a diet or don't really like sweet things. I don't call myself a sweet tooth but there are some things that hit the spot. And I can't usually have too much of it before I feel sick. This recipe is quite rich so one cupcake will do as a single serve as a dessert or something. My brother ate two and was reaching for the third one when I intervened and gave it to JM to protect my brother from chocolate intoxication.

On an interesting note, there was an article in todays mX which had nigella lawson in it proclaiming that shows like her make people want to go out and buy high end appliances. My brother didn't understand. But thats ok. I'm the kitchen queen in this house. It's kind of troubling to know that:

Miele stovetops are in the thousands of dollars for a BASIC combination.
KitchenAids are like $650AUD
Those two huge ovens in her house do not come cheaply either
Her Le Creuset wares are not cheap either
Oh, and those sliced pistachios she uses in her desserts and lamb shank recipes are 15 dollars for 100 grams at david jones food hall (and I haven't found them elsewhere)
Jamie Oliver's Wustof knives don't come cheaply

You know, as an after thought...it's crazy but sometimes I fashion myself to be a little bit of an airhead. And I make really stupid assumptions like: If fish are supposed to be all gone because of overfishing in 40 years...but there will be more water....so there'll be more ocean for them to live in hence more space...so more fish...then what's the problem? The more smoked salmon the better I say!

2007-01-29T17:04:00.000+11:00

As a nod to my old blog which I deleted about 7 months ago, Cupcake by Chockylit is AMAZING.

I'm not a sweet tooth but I have a penchant for like miniature foods. Actually, miniature anything.

.....

DON'T BE CRUDE!

But cupcakes are like a cake that you can eat whole but not feel like you are that little boy in "Matilda" who had to eat the chocolate cake meant for Ms. Trunchbull. They are like miniature cups of happiness. OK that's a bit of an exaggeration. It's more like a miniature cup of pure sugar and sweetness. You know like when you see nicely iced cupcakes you just feel like turning around and seeing baby rabbits, yellow buttercups, sunny misty skies, green fields. All those things.

But this blog comes with pictures. So even if you don't have that KitchenAid handy you can still imagine what it would be like to eat:
Tiramisu cupcakes *mmmm
Cuba Libre Cupcakes *mmmm
Hunk Of Burning Love Cupcakes *mmm

So go see. And maybe, like me, you will be inspired to make cupcakes.

2007-01-29T05:36:00.000+11:00

OK.

I had an epiphany just earlier tonight and i got restless.

I've been restless for the last couple of nights and I open up illustrator and sit there designing. Like this horrible itch I have to scratch. It's kind of like this t-shirt I have that says YMC all over it. It's short for "You Must Create".

Thankfully its not "You Must PRO-Create" otherwise I think JM would be in a little bit of trouble. Correction: I would be in a little bit of trouble. Haha...this bitchin' about me not being able to get into my jeans is going to be nothing in comparison to my boobs leaking and my hips finally expanding to the size that God probably intended and my psycho "if I eat lots my body will stop this weight gain reflex" diet. I always tell myself that.

I learn in IB biology that when the body is being starved it puts on weight initially because it goes into self-preservation mode so it gains as much fat as it can in as little amount of time. So that's what I tell myself.

'Tis Rhubarb.

Oh...and because I'm probably delirious from not sleeping tonight:

TARA CAN I BORROW YOUR EYELINER PLEASE?

2007-01-29T02:21:00.000+11:00

The thing is, I've been watching Grey's Anatomy since two weeks ago. Simultaneously crying my eyes out over the littlest thing. I think it's the drama-queen background music with the drama-reality hospital stuff.

The other thing is, I've been grappling with the odd admission that I *might* just have depression with a kick of psychosis. Or so says my therapist...and my doctor. But I'm FINE. I feel fine, until the night sets in and it's like all the darkness outside consumes my mind. So what do I do? I watch tv. And I'm bound to see something in there that will trigger off a number of issues which I've systematically worked through for the last couple of weeks away from work. Which, may I add has not been the easiest thing to do. I keep thinking about the buzz of work and being in this totally alien environment that doesn't smell of dogs and it actually well lit.

Right. So I've figured out what I'm doing with my time. It came to me like an apparition. Ok. No it didn't. It came to me in the form of a scene from Grey's Anatomy *cringe*.

I won't go into specifics but lets just say, on top of my "daddy issues" I've now got "mummy issues". Urgh. Double Whammy.

I never knew I had real mummy issues. I mean, I've never really gotten along with her to begin with. And there's been some moments where I really thought I hated her with that infernal-red-eye-seeing-blackout type hate. But I didn't know it was an issue. I thought it was just part and parcel of being her daughter.

Until last year.

I don't need to rehash them but basically my mother was not well. It was odd, and it is still is odd seeing her the way she is. She's a little bit emaciated at the moment.

But I think the big this is, I've been carrying this huge weight around with me to the point where I think it's normal to carry around this strange supressed dislike for my mother.

Now, I'm actually realising that I don't. And that I should put that skeleton to bed ASAP.

Now, what made me realise that? Well, I hold this petty little grudge that is like a cumulative record of all the times that she hasn't been there for me. Times when I really thought she'd be there. I suppose that includes waiting for her after school to pick me up and being the last kid on the street waiting for their mother...yeah, even the after school sports kids had been picked up. Anyway...so you see that these are completely petty things which are glued together by huge things that I'm not in the mood to talk about. And worsened because she's my mother. A person you should be able to rely on. Friends have a certain leeway here and there because it's a mixture of a) you aren't there and b) I never really wanted you there in the first place. No offense there by the way.

I saw her in Bangkok last year. And I had a horrible time trying to leave Bangkok and basically ended with me crying as I leapt out of a cab from Emporium to the apartment to get my bags and go to the airport. Alone. I suppose it was like this grown up feeling of complete dissapointment and lonliness. I suppose I took the fact that my mother was not accompanying me to the airport so hard because she was:

a. so incredibly ill and weak
b. deserved to have a little lunch with her two good friends back at Emporium

IRRATIONAL!!

But thats the thing. I couldn't hate her for it. And just as I made peace with that I felt like the weight was passing through my eyes...in the form of tears. BUCKETS of tears. Like 23 years of tears. Ok, to be fair I didn't have a memory (or one that I remember) until about 4. So 19 years.

So even know I know my parents don't read this blog:

Mum,
I'm sick of hating you. And I stop today. Even though I didn't know I did. I'm done. Everyone needs second, third, fourth, fifth, one hundreth chances. Especially when they are family.

And I think I understand now what a self-loathing pit it is to be in when you really can't see the "light at the end of the tunnel" at times. There are times that I feel like I am such a burden. Upon all the other people in this house. Jm and my Brother especially.

I'm not known for my cleaning skills, but dammit I can cook. I love to cook. I love to sew too. And all of the loves are just hollow at the moment. Even when I try and turn on the machine. Even when I reheat food on the stove. Even when I go grocery shopping. The little perks in life that I used to enjoy are just hollow.

But I think I'm getting better!

Odd that I feel so open about it. I think I'm taking my therapist's advice and taking care of the "inner" me before the "outer" me grapples over and forces my ass out the door to go to work and be more miserable.

Thanks to all of you that have been so patient.
I love you.

2007-01-28T17:41:00.000+11:00

2007-01-26T01:44:00.000+11:00

The big social event of 2007 is over. Well, that is until Part 2 begins in KL. The daring, darling, delicious duo of Ally and Bryan was a night to remember.

So congratulations to the wonderful couple and here's some lyrics that I thought of when I was thinking about thier wedding:

Fated to be Mated by Cole Porter:

We were fated to be mated,
We were slated to be tied-
Me as the burning bridegroom,
You as the yearning bride.

We were spotted to be knotted
And allotted a glorious life-
Me as the wonder husband,
You as the wonderful wife.

So why not have a fling with a wedding ring,
Trusting ev'rything to the gods above?
For we were fated to be mated
And forever and ever in love.

2007-01-18T14:23:00.000+11:00

Ok just to make sure that last post isn't at the top today...

I'm not one for accessories. Especially techy acessories.

Ok. I have my Space Mouse Mousepad.
ONE THING

I have found another object of great desire:

Tokidoki by Simone Legno available at iSkin

I don't know about you but I find them really adorable. The one I like is called Milky Time:
oh my. its so cute.

2007-01-18T13:39:00.000+11:00

Menstruation

A new label for posts that will likely occur once a month. If not, then you can all start going to my baby shower register at DJs. And then attend the funeral of JMs anatomy after my father finds out. HAHAHAHAA

I'm in a sick, sadistic mood today.

It might have something to do with being in a rut in life while also having my period. Whatever, I can bitch about my period, this is my site. I'll bitch all I want about something I can't change i.e; my period.

Not to mention the fact that I've noticed that I don't like my period anymore.

When I was in highschool girls started getting their periods around 13 and it was like "oh man, I don't want to ever get it! But then...I don't have to go swimming and I can tell Mr.Bob that I've got my period.". Sooner, rather than later, I got it. And my...was that a funny thing. I tried to hide it from my parents. HAHAHAAH

I was covert ops Candidette. Stealing my mother's pads from her bathroom and hoping she wouldn't notice. In my naivity, I thought periods don't happen at night...almost as if menstruation was a completely voluntary biological action that I could stop when I went to bed.
I don't have to go into the details of having to explain to my maid and my mother.

My brother was apparently very worried when he found out I had it. He was in Bangkok for his boarding school holidays and my mother tells me that he was a little worried that I'd be ill.

Back then, I was fit. I was swimming and running...etc etc and of course, period pain doesn't happen when you're exercising as much as I was. How funny that sentence sounds as I type it.

Buying pads was a humiliating thing with my mother. She told me basically, that it was super or nothing. None of those cool wispy thin pads that I saw in my Dolly and Seventeen magazines. Think Laurier chunky.

I soon overcame the fear of buying pads and tampons. Until today.

I had to go to 7-11 to get them. At lunch hour. On Flinders Lane.
It was packed. There I stood, looking like Lady Death of the Undead World hoping that the pads were nicely tucked away close to the register. Ohh...how wrong I was.
There was a line. So I had to stiffly bend down and get the pads and hold them in my hands, this bright blue plastic square bag with "Regular: Cottony Feel" on it. I edged closer and closer to the front of the line, and as I got to the front I was smack bang in the middle of the sliding doors.

YAY LOOK AT ME I HAVE TO BUY PADS! I LIKE THE COTTONY FEEL!

I know it's immature, a bit of a non-event. But I was really embarassed. I think I blushed -a miracle in itself as I didn't know I had blood to spare today. I wish it was like Fuji Supermarkets in Japan where you put your lady things into a brown paper bag for a discreet purchase. Really, what is more important? Condoms on the top of the counter? I think not! Condoms aren't urgent, people don't normally have sex on the counter of 7-11 or on the street, however, pads are a necessity. I say stack em up like lego blocks on the front counter. The Fertility Front. Then I can just grab and go with minimal embarassment.

I suppose it would have been worse if they only had tampax applicator tampons. You know, on the box it's like "new smoother applicator!" and an image of this odd white tube which looks like an albino sex toy, just really skinny.

Ohhh the pain. Ohhh the misery. At least now I can go to my doctors without being cornered into having a pap smear again.

Thats right. All the etiquette doors have been smashed down today. I went in three weeks ago and she tried (Again) to give me a pap smear.

"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
"But last week you said you might?"
"Yes. Might"
"Why not?"
"I'm just not mentally prepared right now"
"Oh it'll be very quick I promise"
"No."
"Look! I had everything laid out" -points to swabs and prong like contraption which still gives me the creeps
"I promise you Doctor, I will have one when I see you next. I promise"
"Okaaaayy"
"Thanks"
"ARE YOU SURE?"
"YES! *ahem* yes"

Ohh the pain. Ohhh the misery. *sheepish smile*

Ok I did a google image search and I found this: possibly the WORST and most DISGUSTING idea to have entered a person's mind...

A reusable/washable "sanitary napkin"
*ack! *ack!
I think my brother would pass out if I left one of those in my laundry basket.

"Yeah, they just go in like normal. Add A little bleach into the wash"

*bleeerrggghhh

2007-01-13T11:27:00.000+11:00

I have attained a copy of Victoria's Secret 2006 "Fashion Show".
Oh my...look at all the lovely bodies. Eeekk...I usually binge on something when I watch it. I suppose it's to stop me from choking on my own saliva which just happens to produce in large quantities when I watch it.

Adriana Lima is still one hot woman. Justin Timberlake got to perform live with them...I wonder...I mean, yeah they might all be cackling witches backstage, but I doubt that. And I think that's the only thing that would stop anyone from wanting to just, I dunno...put thier arms around them ALL at once.

If you can fit all the boobies in the circumference.
Miranda Kerr was there and she was cute when she was asked about JT and she said (something like):
"Oh yeah, Sexyback! *starts humming and bopping to tune, her body all perfect and glittery in underwear* --cue Aussie accent-- yeeh I've gawt sum mooves Aye can show heem"
Who needs Lara Bingle when you have Miranda Kerr?

I found a new model to superficially adore:
Andi Muise

and Jessica Stam

Of course Adriana Lima is still the hotness out of all of them but I suppose I like these two because they have such delicate features. Plus, I really like her wings. they are so Midsummer's Night dream that really...*growwwwrrrr

My brother resisted at first to watching it (again) with me. He hadn't seen it yet...it was just me who was ffwding and rewinding. I showed him JT's part and yeah...suffice to say we agree that he is one lucky man. I think most men (so the 99.9% that aren't celebrities) would struggle to even breathe. I know I do!

There was this bagpipe player for the "Highlands Romance" bit and I felt a wee bit sorry for him too. I mean, you have to blow hard (litterally) into those things. You can't even falter...and besides, he prob has a daughter thier age and he wouldve grossed himself out thinking about them in that way.

Apparently those wings are really heavy. I can see why...all those feathers and that wiring plus backing...and yet, so hot.

So so hot.

I'll stop now.

2007-01-11T05:45:00.000+11:00

Now, I don't ask from much on my blog, but this is aimed at YOU:

Subliminal Transmission
Exodus of a Girl
Diablogue

You have both come to my humble abode and watched my dear, sweet, darling, FIREFLY.
You love Jayne, Inara (I know you do Sweetass), Mal, Zoe, Wash, River, and Simon.

Ker ker? I KNOW YOU ARE IN ON THIS!

I found a site, could be a hackjob but it requests NO private information but it's merely a submission they are building together to get Firefly back on the airwaves...even as a PAYG (Pay As You Go) episode....firefly MUST be resurrected. Everytime I think I've recovered from the fever that is being a Browncoat at heart, I watch the season episodes or the movie and rethink it.

***edit*** I am incredibly naive and should be locked away from human contact because of it. I've read a couple of threads here and there to verify the likelihood of Firefly Season 2 taking off due to this, and yeaahhh...the guy behind it? Not so much. Suffice to say he's based in Costa Rica and has pimped out two site, one of which is a gambling site, and the other an online dating site...oh well, i still stand by my beliefs that FF should be resurrected!

How could one not love a tv show that is funny, dramatic, action packed, schweet on the graphics, and just...fucking fantastic??

I'll rant a little now but I really like how firefly does not have this archaic battle between good and evil. it presumes evil, or just the majority, has won. And not the benevolent majority, but the mistaken belief that everyone should be civilized as few may see it aka: money + influence = civil? HARDLY.

I love it how Mal is this vagabond hero...he's been on the losing side of a war that rightly so, or rather - anyone who has any moral belief should believe so, he should have won. There's River Tam, the result of a paranoid, weaponised society that is only conscious of how they can quash any other beliefs. Alteration of history and fact, etc etc. I loved it. I personally thought that the themes in there were too contentious for Fox let alone any other network. Yeah, we all have our flaws and so on, and none of us have the same moral beliefs but there are some things that you just *know* are right. Perhaps. But basically, I can see why it didn't do well in America.

1. The characters cursed in chinese because it was a given that everyone would speak chinese and english by the year 2513 (or something). That makes sense right? But I suppose, dear King Murdoch believed that it was not so nice considering his (new) wife is, afterall, chinese. Gotta love Star TV eh.

2. The plot was about a seemingly morally superior minority in a universe of money grabbing, conservative, machiavellan majority (hello, America under the Republicans).

3. People fail to grasp that it is possible, on outer planets (like outer suburbs) that people will not have access to technology such as fazers or whatever. A bullet has worked since the 20th century...why would it stop in the 21st? We are still human no? It still only takes a pound of pressure to pierce flesh (see: Firefly's "Shindig" episode)

4. THE GRAPHICS PUT EVERY OTHER SCI FI SHOW TO SHAAAMMMEE!

5. Fucking around with the human mind at a young age to gain a completely brainwashed and weaponized human army. (see: Dark Angel, another show...which DEPRIVES the masses of seeing Jessica Albas fine ass kicking some not-so-fine ass)

Why is it that TV series' that gain a "cult" like following which have a particular tone of dissent against an overbearing government dont last very long?

Anyway, I've started a new column on my blog and it's called "En Garde Mes Amis" A sort of 'Click here and make a difference' column...only more superficial and shallow. I mean, Firefly is just a TV show...but really...dammit. TV changes people. It's a commentary on society while also being a catalyst for social change. You don't need a degree in TV to see that...but you DO need a degree I suppose if you were to open an exposition on it with a detailed referencing and appendix system.

Ahhh firefly...I want to know more about the story:

I want to know about Shepherd Book's past. Was he an operative of the Alliance?
I want to know about the Blue Sun Corporation. Are they really "Two by two, hands are blue" and what is it that allows them to kill people with that little blue stick they hold?
I want to see more tension between Mal and Inara
Bring back Saffron/Yolanda!
What was Simon's life like on the central planets?
Do Simon and Rivers' parents really not give a damn what has happened to their children?
What is Jayne's past...we see a little about his mother, but are they ALL hicks where he is from?
How do Zoe and Wash meet?
What would it be like if Zoe And Wash have a kid?
What, if not the Reavers, is the next menace in the black?

MORE MORE MORE!